Everyday Burnout Conversations
Everyday burnout conversations is an honest podcast sharing the burnout experiences of others from all walks of life. Host, Flic Taylor, is a writer whose passion for burnout arose when she became a mental health writer dealing with severe burnout - and yes, the irony is not lost on her! Enjoy these weekly conversations sharing stories of surviving and thriving, all delightfully wrapped up in epic truths, compassion, and humour.
Everyday Burnout Conversations
Karolyne LaFortune | Embracing your authentic erotic for self-connection and inner strength
In this everyday burnout conversation, I sit down to chat with Karolyne LaFortune, owner of EmbodiPole Sensual Arts.
When Karolyne first discovered pole dancing, little did she know it would become her sanctuary and means of profound self-discovery.
Her initial pole focus was a fitness-focused mindset propelled by the masculine energy of ambition, action, drive, and strength. However, when her life changed with the pandemic, pregnancy, and becoming a mum to two young children, this orchestrated a fascinating shift towards her focusing now on the feminine forces—a space of receptivity, emotion, and presence. Karolyne shares how this transition allowed her to tap into her body's intuition, slow down, and embark on a holistic growth and healing path.
As the conversation progresses, we explore the dynamic interplay of masculine and feminine energies within pole dancing and how it mirrors that balance necessary in life, contributing to our overall well-being and interpersonal relationships.
Karolyne helps us contemplate the equilibrium of self-care and self-love, reminding us of how vital it is to listen to our bodies and trust our intuition, especially when the world seems to push us to our limits.
Learn more about Karolyne:
EmbodiPole Sensual Arts website
Please note, this podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you're having a rough time or concerned that you're experiencing burnout, remember YOU matter, so please reach out to your doctor or mental health professional for support and guidance tailored for you.
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Check out my latest work and discover how you can work one-to-one with me to tackle your burnout at flictaylor.com
Hello, I'm Flick and you're listening to Everyday Burnout Conversations. This is the honest podcast that shares burnout expertise, along with the stories of others from all walks of life that strive to inspire and help you manage and avoid burnout. Now, my passion for burnout and self-care came about when I became a mental health writer who'd lost her own mental health to severe burnout and it's an irony that's not lost on me. So get set to enjoy another great conversation, delightfully wrapped up in some wisdom, humour and great storytelling. Enjoy up in some wisdom, humour and great storytelling. Enjoy In this everyday burnout conversation.
Flic Taylor :I sit down to chat with Caroline Lafoutian, owner of Embody Pole Sensual Arts. Now, when Caroline first discovered pole dancing, little did she know it would become her sanctuary and means a profound self-discovery. Her initial pole focus was led with a fitness-focused mindset and that was propelled by that real masculine energy of ambition, action, drive and strength. However, when her life changed with the pandemic, pregnancy and becoming a mum to two young children, this orchestrated a fascinating shift towards her focusing now on the feminine forces, and that's that space of receptivity, emotion and presence. Carolyn shares how this transition allowed her to tap into her body's intuition, slow down and embark on a path of holistic growth and healing. Now, as our conversation progresses, we explore the dynamic interplay of masculine and feminine energies within pole dancing and how it mirrors that balance necessary in life, contributing to our overall well-being and interpersonal relationships. Carolyn helps us contemplate the equilibrium of self-care and self-love, reminding us of how vital it is to listen to our bodies and trust our intuition, especially when the world seems to push us to our limits.
Flic Taylor :So time to settle in and get ready to listen to another gloriously candid and fascinating everyday burnout conversation with the fabulous Carolyn LaFortune. I'm so happy to talk to you today because, well, you've been part of a very exciting journey for me, it has to be said, and quite eye-opening. And so to give context for anyone listening, I came to one of your classes you have an incredible pole dancing studio and body pole in Ottawa and I came to do the Synergy program the classes I'm sure have I even said that right, is that the right term? Sensual.
Karolyne LaFortune:Synergy actually.
Flic Taylor :Well, synergy, thank you. And I felt so intuitively called to do it. I can remember literally like filling in my details on the form, thinking I'm doing this, and then, as soon as I walked in, I was like this is why I'm doing this. So I can remember us chatting and we were talking a little bit about like kind of life and what led me there and what I do, and I spoke about burnout and you were like you know what I've experienced? A bit of burnout, identity crisis, but really, looking at it, it was a spiritual awakening to which I just went. Oh, amazing, tell me more.
Karolyne LaFortune:Yeah, I it was. It was a journey, that's for sure. So I've been, I've had the studio for I'm going on eight years now and I started yeah, I started in 2016. So I it started more as like a whole tricks and like. Even at the beginning, we had like workout classes, we had yoga, we had like kettlebell. It was very like and very, you know, fitness, yeah, strong and um, which was fine, because I felt like that was me at the time and I was like really tapping into my masculine energy and just really like, yeah, I'm, I'm going to be strong and building my and like go, go, go, go, go and like just building tricks and tricks and tricks and accomplishments.
Karolyne LaFortune:And and then in 2020, well, you know, pandemic happened. I also got pregnant, because then we were starting we're like, what else are we going to do? Let's have a baby pregnant. Because then we were starting we're like, what else are we gonna do? Let's have a baby. So I feel like at that moment that's when you know the world was shut down I didn't know what the hell was going on with my studio anymore. We had like we opened and closed like five different times, so that was really hard and challenging and then being pregnant that kind of forced me to slow down, and especially during my first trimester with my son my first I have two kids and uh, so, and yeah, with my son, like the first trimester I was dead to the world like I this I'm so thankful that we actually were in a pandemic and that we were shut down, because I'm like I don't know how I would have worked because I was so tired and so like I was sleeping almost like 18 hours a day. I felt like a cat. Basically I just get up, eat, go back to sleep and um, but at that point I remember feeling such an emotional whirlwind and such a like identity. I feel like that's where my identity crisis kind of started, because I was like, what the fuck am I doing here? Like I I'm own, like I own a pole dance studio. I like and that's yeah, like a pole fitness studio and I can't do any of the tricks. We're closed. Right now. I don't know what this like, what the future is going to look like. Do I even still like pole?
Karolyne LaFortune:And I kind of felt like maybe that's where my disconnection to the pole started happening and yeah, it was just such an eye-opening experience and a pivot point for my life, because then after that, I was like, okay, you know what I'm going to focus on, what I can do, rather than pushing through and doing tricks on the pole and stuff like that. So I was like, okay, what can I actually work with, what are my limitations and what kind of other creative ways can I navigate this, this journey? So, um, I was like second trimester, I was feeling better, so I had more energy, and that's when I was like, okay, maybe I'll try to just dance and just have fun and put on a song and just dance. And I remember that first time I was like, oh, I'm like pregnant, this doesn't feel right. And I was. You know, I was way in my head, yeah, and I was constantly just like, oh, oh, oh, this sucks, I can't do anything. And I was. And then I was like, okay, let's just shake it out, drop in a little bit. And then I think it was like the second song I put on, I was like, okay, this feels a little better, I'm getting more into my body and I can let go more of like what my negative thoughts are.
Karolyne LaFortune:So, yeah, it was such a weird time for me because I was like this is, I'm not used to this, I'm used to go, go and now I'm being forced to stop and uh, and that's kind of like where I started learning about the feminine and masculine energies and like I was very strongly in my masculine and because it's like the go-getter, the direction, the purpose, the, you know, the like, I need to do more and do more, rather than just sit, relax and take it in and receive.
Karolyne LaFortune:So I yeah, it was such an interesting time in my life where, like I just I don't know what happened there, cause I was like, okay, I'm going to take some time, rest, really listen to my body, hone in on what it wants, and to like, at that moment I was like the studio is in, I don't know what, what's going on, so I'm just going to take this time for myself and to just be with my body and take care of my body and I really want to like, nurture myself so that my baby can thrive.
Karolyne LaFortune:And that's exactly what I did. So I, you know, I just took some time and then, like you know, I remember actually it was like third trimester I was like, really like I can't pole dance anymore. I can do anything. This sucks. What am I doing with my life? Yeah and um, then I had the baby and I was like, okay, I'm starting to feel better. Like postpartum was, uh, a little bit of a journey to kind of yeah back, to like recover from that and and the yeah it was, it was a time.
Flic Taylor :It's fascinating. I'm listening to this and I mean I think there's a lot of small business owners, um, who, you know, you're just thrown into disarray, aren't you? When the pandemic, like everything, became so uncertain for everyone on so many levels, um, but I can't even begin to imagine what it would have been like to have, you know, have this incredible business that you're setting up. You put your heart and soul and blood, sweat and tears into and you just don't know what's going to happen. And it's interesting.
Flic Taylor :I'm listening to this and I'm like, okay, so you had that, and I've definitely seen people kind of burn themselves out during that period as a small, oh my goodness, yeah, just trying and throwing everything into, like trying to stay afloat. But I'm listening and I'm like this is really cool, because you were like, okay, you know what out at this point, we wanted a family, so we're gonna have a try for a family. And you kind of went with the flow. And I'm listening and I'm thinking that kind of you know, uh, small business owner, you tend to go into your masculine energy, don't you? Because you're just absolutely ambitious and you're just throwing everything into it. So to make that switch was actually really big, carolyn it was huge.
Karolyne LaFortune:I was like I don't know what's happening to me, because I was always very direction, purpose, like, driven, ambitious. That was me. Well, I mean I'm still, I still have that, but I less of that. Right now I feel like I have more balanced with.
Flic Taylor :Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? And so is that kind of like you know, I guess, in a way overachieving. It's just that like I'm gonna think into this, and were you like that as a kid? No, okay.
Karolyne LaFortune:I mean because I felt like previously I always thought I didn't have a good work ethic because I never worked a job that I loved, wow. So I was like, before opening the studio I was serving and I was like a bartender and I think before that at some point I had a desk job and that was the worst job I ever had. It was like a data entry for an insurance company and like I just remember I was like always late. I was like calling in no, I don't know, maybe I called in sick a few times when I didn't really have to, but I was just like not. And then I just thought, like that's the way I am. I guess I don't like work just sucks and I'm gonna accept what it is. And then, finally, when I, I kind of felt that like that light inside of me where, like I need to work for myself and this is where I'm like I'm'm going to open up my own studio.
Flic Taylor :Wow, I love it. Yeah, and so had you. Were you a dancer when you were a kid? Like, is this something? Because I'm trying to like, how did you tune into yourself so well without it sounds subconsciously.
Karolyne LaFortune:Well, I did like, like I have a dance background, ish, like I mean, ish, like you know, I started dance classes when I was three and then I it was like on and off, I did some different styles here and there and then I did, uh, like I think I danced till I was like 10 or something like that, and then I didn't really do anything until, um, I started burlesque in 2009 and I felt like, and well, I started burlesque and pole at around the same time and I just felt like that's kind of what helped me tap more into my sensuality and really feel into my body and, like, reclaim my power.
Karolyne LaFortune:Yes, like it just. Yeah, that's at that time where in my life I was like I need to be around more women and because I was like you know, the restaurant industry and like at school, I was always the, the, the cool girl hanging out with the guys, kind of thing and then I was like, cause I just never really liked being around other girls or I just I felt like I didn't fit in and I wasn't cool enough to hang out with the cool girls. So I was just like, oh well, the guys are simple and they're just, we get along and, like you know, my my friends were like they're nerdy guys, we get along.
Flic Taylor :and, like you know, my my friends are like they're nerdy guys. It's funny I was the same as a kid. I was all. I had a big group of lads that were my mates and they were so fun and we always had so much fun, but I just I really tried to stay away from the drama. Well, that's it right, my peers, yeah, so it's interesting. I find this really fascinating. And so what kind of what drew you to burlesque and pole initially?
Karolyne LaFortune:I just remember I was dating this guy at the time and we ended up going to a burlesque show because I had a friend, I think, who was in that troupe, and so we went to go see her perform and and see the troupe perform and I was just blown away by the show and I was like I want to be on that stage and I have like I also have stage like a performance backgrounds. I played music, so I did a lot of recitals and I did a lot of like playing with bands and things like that. So I I'm used to being on stage and having that spotlight. So that's kind of what drew me to that Cause. I was like this is a Cree, it's so creative, it's so sensual and it's so sexy and I'm like I want to, I want to be that and I'm like and so, yeah, I ended up joining that troupe after and then performing with them for a little bit until I started my own burlesque troupe. I think it was in 2011.
Flic Taylor :Amazing. It's so funny when you see someone for the first time and maybe it's seen someone in person as well, because I really like your social media. I love embody polls, social media, and so for a few months I'd been before I signed up to do their synergy um central synergy classes. I was watching this right, and so I loved it. But I could remember that first class and when you were showing us how to do some of the spins and I was just like it's so empowering that's all I can describe it. There's like this empowering energy that comes from watching a woman do this. It's just amazing, isn't it? Absolutely? Yeah, it's probably bit like when you went to that burlesque show where you're like, oh I was like, oh well, and the same.
Karolyne LaFortune:It was like I had the same feeling when I did my first pole class. I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. And I'm like, I'm hooked. You know, it's like uh, hooked after the first spin.
Flic Taylor :I know because there's. It's so important as adults as well that we continue to play. Like my background, with hospital play, therapy and whatever, I know how therapeutic it is to play and to tap into that side of us and I think it's so important as adults and I think that's why I just love the pole, because it's that kind of that playfulness where you're not, you're forced out of your head well, that's the feminine energy. Yes, exactly okay, come on, talk to us a little bit about the masculine and feminine energy.
Karolyne LaFortune:Well, so the like, the masculine I kind of mentioned a little bit earlier, but it's, it's the conscious, it's the logic, it's in the head. It's like the drive, the go getter, the you know the purpose. It's like the you gotta go. And feminine energy, energy is, it's the receiving, it's the, the feeling, the emotions and just the like, the softness and just just being in the body, that's in the feminine. So it's like grounding, it's just oh, you know that lovely flow.
Flic Taylor :Yeah, the flow and the, that's it right yeah, and and you know, I think it's interesting like there's there's that element of um compassion and love with the feminine energy, and I do believe that a lot of people who burn out are really missing that in their lives. They don't have absolutely and they don't have the self-love, do they? But they'll probably relate to those attributes that you just listed there, where you're just kind of it's that analytical, you're just kind of so focused and driving forward.
Karolyne LaFortune:I would say I need a solution rather than I need to listen to my gut.
Flic Taylor :Yes, and as soon as you say I need a solution. It's just that striving energy and it puts us into that stress response, that fight or flight doesn't it.
Karolyne LaFortune:It really does, yeah, and it takes us out of our bodies and into our heads.
Flic Taylor :Yes, and this isn't gender specific either no, it's.
Karolyne LaFortune:We have both energies, we carry both energies and there has to be a balance. But, for example, like some people lean more into masculine energy or others lean more into feminine, and like it's not 50 50, it could be like 60 40 or it could be 70 30, like my husband has a very strong masculine energy and, um, I have a very like I can do both, but I sometimes I feel myself going into my masculine energy and then we lose the polarity, there's no attraction anymore. So I'm like I have to bring myself back into my feminine energy to have that the polarity with with ourselves. But, like anybody, everyone has both energies and it just it varies from person to person, where it is and, like they say, opposites attract, right.
Flic Taylor :So absolutely, absolutely. I can remember him saying like it's actually being more aware of the masculine and feminine energy and going down this road, because you kind of took your studio from being, um, like the fitness, the, the hardcore kind of, you know, strength building, and you went and you you did a rebrand and I'm watching it on social media and loving it. But it's that I'm going to go and follow what feels right now, what feels aligned well, and that's it.
Karolyne LaFortune:And like I felt with my second pregnancy, that's when I was I was feeling really into my feminine energy at that point and that's when I was like, oh I'm, I love being in this, in this space where I'm just able to receive and I'm able to like take it in. And you know, my husband and I were having like amazing sex at the time because it was just like the. You know, it was so it's free, it's free flowing, and I was. And then like, and then I feel like my point of burnout came after I had my daughter Cause then it was like, oh, I have the, but like the kids at home and she's not sleeping. I'm not sleeping and I was. And when I don't sleep, I'm miserable.
Flic Taylor :Yeah.
Karolyne LaFortune:And even in that time it was really hard to prioritize myself, like I was still trying to go to the gym and train and like do things. But I just felt like that's when I wasn't like it was trying to balance both and being a business owner and having kids and that's when I was like I hit that burnout point where I was like I just I don't know what to do. I need to sacrifice something and at this point I'm going to sacrifice my studio and be with my kids while they're young.
Flic Taylor :Yeah.
Karolyne LaFortune:And that's kind of where I was like. And then I, so I kind of let my staff take the lead and and then I, when I was going to the studio, I didn't really feel like it was mine anymore and I was just letting them kind of I don't know, I just didn't feel like me. So I was going in. It was almost like I I didn't belong in my own space. And that's when I hit a that kind of burnout time where I was like it feels like a chore to go in, feels like I just I don't want to be here right now. I don't want to teach this class, and I'm sure my students could pick up on that. The numbers showed like it was just not a good time for me. And then that's kind of when I I felt like I had this whole identity crisis at the same time. So I was like I don't know who I am anymore. I have two kids, I'm a new mom, I'm what am I doing with my studio again?
Karolyne LaFortune:So it's, it was like a few years of like just juggling a lot of things and I discovered like the whole concept of like erotic energy and the feminine, masculine energy, and it just made like it explained a lot of what was happening inside of me. So I remember it was maybe close to a year and a half now, like a year and a half ago, that I started the, the rebrand. So we just like I announced to my staff. I was like, okay, we're going in a different direction. And that's kind of where I was like I need to take this back to myself and do the work and like, make this feel like home again. Amazing, and because I've been, you know I changed a lot throughout these years. So I was like I need the.
Flic Taylor :The old studio doesn't fit with me anymore yeah it, I was listening and I know, as soon as you said, I didn't feel like I belonged here. Yeah, that really hit me because I'm thinking there's going to be a lot of people who've experienced that, whether it's, you know, in a relationship, a marriage. Whether it's, you know, in a relationship, a marriage, whether it is, you know, a work situation, whether it's a business, where you've because we just evolve and grow, we want to evolve and grow, don't we? We never want to stop that and I think it's a really it can feel a very scary unsettling moment when you you have, when you share those words like oh god, I, I don't belong here anymore, like this is, but it's, it's hard, it's hard, it was really hard yeah, yeah, and I think that's when we have to embody the feminine energy of nurturing ourselves.
Flic Taylor :Because when you're not used to it, like you wouldn't have been used to, and when you're not used to it like you wouldn't have been used to it and I certainly wasn't used to it either Because you're just like I want to achieve, I want to strive, I want to be the best, I want to do this. And when you can't do that, when that energy does not align anymore, it's like where do I go now?
Karolyne LaFortune:Well, exactly yeah, and that's how I was feeling, because I was like I don't want to be here, my lease is coming up for renewal. What do I do like? Do I just close up shop? Do I just renew for a couple you know? And um, so I ended up renewing, but I that's kind of like it was at around the same time where I was like you know what, what I'm going to, what do like, what do I value most? And I did a lot of like inner work. And then that's when I was like I'm going to go into this direction. And that's kind of where the rebrand started, cause I was like I'm going to put the emphasis back on me and what I need and what I really want out of this space and what I want my clients to feel, and like how I want to serve my people. And that's what I did and I was like I need to, I need to do something because otherwise I'm just gonna be miserable and it's that cycle of kind of just.
Flic Taylor :You know you dance between burnout and just trying to keep your head above water but just being so unhappy and you just feel really lost. It's a horrible feeling. It's a hard thing. You're very stuck in that cycle. But I love how you kind of just stepped into what was starting to feel right for you and it's that intuition piece yeah, yeah, because it started around like January last year and like 2023, and that's kind of where I was.
Karolyne LaFortune:Like you know what, I'm gonna lean into this. I don't know what the final destination is. I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm going to go with the flow. I'm going to, you know, step into my feminine energy and see what happens and listen to my intuition, and that will help me, that will guide me through this transition.
Flic Taylor :Oh, I love it and honestly, I feel you share this with your students, your clients, because, having been a participant in your class, it's really lovely. You come with this beautiful, really warm gentle, just loving energy, and for me I, you know, intuitively, I was like I'm gonna do this and then I can remember turning up and thinking what am I doing? And, and I think we can safely say, like those first two classes, I was in my head because I just wasn't able to you just start to overthink it and it made me realize how I guess you know the patriarchy, like the societal expectations, like you forget how subconsciously imprinted it is to assess how you are performing, even when it's like for fun and it's pole and it's meant to be sensual and enjoy and just go with the flow. I firsthand experienced how, oh my god, I thought I was doing really well with burnout recovery and my growth and then I was like, hang on a minute. Here I am in a pole studio looking in the mirror and I've still got a lot more work to do.
Karolyne LaFortune:Well, you know what it is too. It's a new skill that we're learning. So, like women especially are not used to failing in their adult life and learning pull, you're going to fail a lot, but you know what happens, you try again. Get back on that horse and go, and it's gonna like you're going to fall. You're going to hurt yourself I mean hopefully not there, but it's you're going to get some bruising You're going to. You know it's like it's going to happen.
Flic Taylor :Yeah, it was interesting, wasn't it? Because, um, I, you were showing us how to do some of the spins and I love the spins, I think they're amazing, so cool, and I couldn't let go of the bloody pole, could I? Yeah, no, you had a lot of issues and I was like Carolyn, I'm not sure why, like, why is this a mental thing?
Karolyne LaFortune:and you would, you, straight away, were like, look, I think there's some self-trust going on, and I was just like my goodness, because you have to trust yourself, paul, to be able to let your body just move around the pole, and especially if you're doing a spin with both feet off the ground, there's a lot of trust happening inside of you. So if you don't have that element of trust, then it's going to be really hard physically to do it yeah, yeah.
Flic Taylor :There's so many mental health benefits to pole, isn't there like?
Karolyne LaFortune:oh absolutely.
Flic Taylor :Oh, good for you, and I'd love to share some of those with people listening, because I think, um, again, and we spoke about this in one of the classes, didn't we? Where you know there can be this, this stigma attached. It's a taboo, not a stigma, it's more of a taboo, isn't it About kind of pole and what people, how people perceive it, and it's so far from that, and I'd love you to talk a little bit more about that.
Karolyne LaFortune:Yeah, well, like, I guess, when you think about pole dance now it's more mainstream. So I feel like there's two different avenues. But before, when I first started in 2009, like I had a lot of comments of like, oh, you want to become a stripper, you want to, and it's like, do you know? Like no, I'm personally, you know, I like I'm not gonna be dancing, but like I'm doing this for myself. But also, do you know where pole comes from? And like we are learning the art from the clubs and from the strippers who invented this freaking sport, you know, or like this art form and um, and that's okay, and like we have to honor that. And yes, that's where the sensuality and the like being into the feminine energy, like this is where it comes from. Because, um, like a good friend of mine told me she's like you know, the strip clubs is where people go to worship the feminine. Yeah, it's true, it makes sense yeah, I love that.
Flic Taylor :I can remember you telling me that. And then that kind of changed my perspective for the rest of that class, because I, instead of looking in the mirror at myself and trying to kind of look at how I was holding myself and whatever I was like fuck it. And I just was like, okay, I'm going to close my eyes. And I think I actually started to be able to move much better because I was like like I wasn't judging or assessing myself. I was like, yeah, you're right, it is to worship the feminine and I'm gonna actually now worship my own femininity and I'm not even gonna look in the mirror.
Karolyne LaFortune:And then everything shifted a little for me yeah, because then it becomes about the feeling and not about what it looks and what it should look like or what it. You know my, are my toes pointed enough, are my arms extended?
Flic Taylor :you know, it's about how it feels inside your body and that's the embodiment piece of embody pole exactly, and I'm just piecing this now together because I'm thinking okay, so you burn out, it's because you've abandoned just your own needs, your own self-worth. You're not caring for yourself, you're just putting all your energy towards something else, whether that's work, whether that's a relationship, whatever. People burn out for different facets of their life. But yes, you're right, as soon as we then kind of take the reins and start to kind of worship ourselves, like look at caring for ourselves, look at honoring ourselves, yeah, it shifts and we come back home to ourselves. Yes, and it's that embodiment of the feminine energy, not just masculine and slowing down and feeling our emotions.
Karolyne LaFortune:Because I grew up well up until I think, even pre, yeah, pre-pandemic I was always suppressing my, my emotions.
Karolyne LaFortune:Like I was a you know, I was drinking a lot and that was kind of my way to like deal with like social anxiety, and then I'd have a beer and then I'd be like, okay, now I'm loose, I can, I can talk to people and feel more comfortable, and whenever, like I and now it's like also, I guess, being pregnant I was like, oh, I'm not drinking. But that's that's when I realized that like I don't need to drink, this feels really good, yes, and then like it's nice to wake up and feel energized and feel like not hung over, and exactly so then. And then that's kind of when I started also like working with a life coach and stuff, and then I was that's when I realized I'm like, oh, I actually have anxiety, I have a lot of like suppressed stuff inside my body. I'm like, oh, this is what that is. Oh, this is like figuring out, you know, discovering a lot of what, what is inside of my body.
Flic Taylor :The slowing down piece is huge.
Karolyne LaFortune:It's really big, yeah, and it's it's really hard to slow down if you're not in a position to slow down. Yes, it's for me, I needed to get pregnant to slow down, right. But I feel like knowing I don't know, knowing like what I know. Now I'm like, oh, if I'm in that, go, go, go. Now I have the tools to to slow down and to like to rebalance it. But and that's kind of what I'm trying to teach at the studio as well it's like, can we move a little bit slower? Can? Can I force you to slow down? You're going to fucking hate it because you're like, oh, I need to move fast, but like, can we work with that slow energy and start to feel what's in our bodies?
Flic Taylor :yeah, it's not a given is it.
Karolyne LaFortune:It's really hard, yeah, yeah, and I still struggle with it, sometimes too, like it's not, I'm not perfect at it.
Flic Taylor :I know it's, it's funny because I'm thinking of your classes and that was something I really struggled to do was to slow down. And then in the evening so it's not even like I was, but yet I did and then I walked in and it was that lovely reminder to slow down, which you know you go okay, I'll slow down a bit, but actually no, you need to slow down even more. And that's what's so lovely about having kind of someone like you doing the work you do, because those that pivotal kind of 10 minutes of being told to slow down and then being coached to slow down even more is huge for someone in their week well, and it can bring up a lot of different emotions.
Karolyne LaFortune:right, it can bring up some anger. It can bring up some fear. It can bring up some anger. It can bring up some fear. It can bring up some just like disgust, even like it, or just it can just bring up a lot, and we're not used to feeling and taking the time to feel it. So what do we do with all this information all at once? Right, it's like, ok, take a breath, can we welcome it inside our bodies? Can we play with it, maybe move from that space and see how it feels, and like we're not, we're not doing therapy, but we're just working with how we feel in the moment yeah, and that's why it's so important to have which you have beautifully done.
Flic Taylor :You've created this incredible, lovely, calming, compassionate but very safe space for people to come and, you know, pull and kind of try and step into this, this sensual way of moving and this feminine energy, and that's really important, isn't it To have the space to do that? Yeah, energy, and that's really important, isn't it to have the space to do that? Yeah, you know, I think I guess I talk about this because I know a lot of people. I did it firsthand and I know people who you know, when they hit burnout, you try and you try and manage it on your own, and I think it's because you've been doing so much on your own anyway, whether it is, you know, working so hard on a business, a job, a relationship, whatever you're just you feel very, you've kind of abandoned yourself and you're very on your own, and I think that's what's so lovely about pole that people may not associate is the lovely community and that's it.
Karolyne LaFortune:Like everybody is so supportive and so welcoming and it's like if you come in with a lot of, you know, some strong emotions, like we're all going to be there to support you. We're not going to be there to judge you or to shame you, because that's not our culture at the studio.
Flic Taylor :Yeah, I love that. I really do. It's so important for people who are going through a tough time. We're so hardwired, aren't we, to have community, like it's a real threat to us when we don't have people around us. It's just our hardwiring, and I think that community, feel and acceptance can often help. It becomes the bridge to you accepting yourself.
Karolyne LaFortune:Yes, and it's one of the key pieces to happiness.
Flic Taylor :Yes, it really is. It really is. There was a big, long study I think it was 85 years at Harvard and they were saying, like the key to happiness is our relationships, our connections. Yeah, and that's what's so important and, and you know, sometimes when you can't uh, nurture yourself, it's so lovely to lean back onto a community where others are nurturing for you yeah, exactly yeah, yeah, I love that. So for someone um listening to, listening to this, who are more, who are getting a little poll curious now, yeah.
Karolyne LaFortune:I love it.
Flic Taylor :Uh, what would you tell someone um? You know who was like? Oh, I'm thinking of doing this.
Karolyne LaFortune:Yeah, I mean like so at first that'd be why, why do you want to do this? What is what? Is you know what the interest that you have to do this? And then if they're like, oh, I want to get strong and build core and build upper body strength, and it's like, okay, but let's go behind the why, why do you want to do this?
Karolyne LaFortune:And then you know, other people say I really want to tap into my sensuality because I feel like that's been a missing piece in my life. So it's just navigating the like what is the reason behind why you want to achieve these goals? And so that's kind of like step one, we do a consultation, a free consultation, so for anybody who's interested, I can meet with them and we'll discuss, like their goals, their needs, their schedule and and there from there we can recommend the best solution for them or the best like maybe it's this class that they should start with, or if they have previous pole experience, then they can, you know, go into, we'll do an assessment and see what, where, you know where the land, kind of thing. And but it's yeah, it's like we ask them the why behind what they want to do. And it's funny because a lot of people are like oh, I just want to have you know good know good upper body strength why?
Flic Taylor :and then they're kind of like uh, I don't know, because I just want to be strong, just because that's what I should be doing.
Karolyne LaFortune:That's what I should be doing yeah, that's it exactly exactly, yeah kind of figure like looking a little bit deeper, past those superficial layers of like I want to have like shredding. You know, I can grate some cheese on my abs or something so true.
Flic Taylor :It's so true because I can yeah exactly because I can remember thinking right, okay, I've got a couple of weeks in my first class, so I'm going to start doing some push-ups and sit-ups because I've got to get a better call, and being completely astounded that after my first class it it wasn't even about that. For me, it was the tapping into, it was the mental aspect. It was being able to open up, it was being able to be vulnerable, it was being able to maybe do something I've never done before. So it's interesting that you say, as women, as adult women, we're not used to failing, we're not used to failing, yeah yeah, and it's like it's big as we get.
Karolyne LaFortune:You know, we fail and we're like, oh, we're not good enough. We get all this like shame that we start to feel and it just I feel like at that point it just piles up and piles up and then we get into our heads and then it's like I don't want to do this anymore and then we move on to the next thing that's easier to learn or that is comfortable yes.
Flic Taylor :So I'm just thinking like I'm listening to this and processing it in real time. So pole is not only good for us to really help us embrace that femininity within us, but it's also really good for us to, you know, to slow down and to and to embrace a new side that we're not always going to be perfect. As soon as you said, oh, I'm not good enough, I was like, oh, how often do women say those words?
Karolyne LaFortune:And that we feel it Like. I feel that a lot right. It's like, throughout a lot of my different achievements and things like that, I'm like oh, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough. When is it? When am I going to be good enough there? When is it? When am I going to be good enough?
Flic Taylor :there is no answer to that question. It's how can I heal?
Karolyne LaFortune:my wound of not feeling good enough, yeah, and just doing more inner work and like figuring it out and working on yourself and what doing what truly matters to you, and that is basically we're feeling into our highest self or becoming your highest self, and that's at our studio we call it the authentic erotic. When we tap into that highest self, that's our authentic erotic. We are in our authentic erotic. We're feeling our erotic energy, which is this like vibrancy and it's pulsating outwards and it's like a full, creative, full expression, full, just like this is me. This is me. Take it or leave it, but I am me.
Flic Taylor :Yeah, and my God, like we all need to be tapping into that, don't we?
Karolyne LaFortune:And it's hard. It's hard, it's a practice, it's not always going to be easy and I find for myself I swing a lot back and forth where I'm like some days I feel a lot more shame and a lot more fear and a lot more. But then it's like, how can I work with myself and do maybe some emotional release practices or some some things to kind of clear that up, and then so I can feel my most liberated self? So I can feel my most liberated self.
Flic Taylor :Oh, amazing, amazing. And this is not specific to genders or age, is it?
Karolyne LaFortune:No, absolutely, and that's another point I was going to say so like it's not. We're not a women's only space. We do have men and we have trans, and we have non-binary and other gender identities, and it's like the people who do come to the studio want to work on that feminine embodiment, of embodying the feminine energy and becoming their most authentic erotic selves yeah, yeah, and I think it's so good for your nervous system because it's taking you out of being in that stress response.
Flic Taylor :I think, um, I mean it's interesting, you know, when our nervous systems are heightened, we often have to close the stress response by, you know, kind of um, removing that cortisol from our system. And I think you know the the best ways to do that are kind of you, you know, exercising, like going for a run or burning out or like having connection and having a hug from someone or a really good orgasm, and I'm like also like I would put pole in there because you're just like you've got to. It's helping you just kind of shed those layers of stress.
Karolyne LaFortune:You know what all of those things have in common it's all about pleasure. It's about playing and pleasure and feeling into our bodies. So it's like all can bring us pleasure when we can get into that flow state and dance it out and really feel into like the. I'm fucking amazing, I'm fucking hot right now. Look at me Right. But it doesn't you know, it's not for anybody else, it's for yourself, it's from like. If I do videos and stuff on Instagram, like it's it's for me. And I like to look back at my videos and sometimes I'm like, oh, I wish I would have done a little bit differently. But in that moment I'm like, oh, I wish I would have done a little bit.
Flic Taylor :You know differently, but in that moment I'm like, oh, I feel fucking great. Yes, exactly, it's for you. It's for you. Not, you're not performing for anyone. It's, it's, it's the experience of embodying your. Is it your soul, your true core, your, as you say, your authentic erotic yes.
Flic Taylor :Oh, my God, carolyn, you disappear. Really good conversation. It just goes to show how, um, how important it is to look at the bigger picture and not just for burnout, just for life, just for that kind of misalignment. You know it's so easy, isn't it, to feel very lost because you're, you know, we're brought up to be like, do this and then this, and then this and then this. And I see, even with my kids, they're teens, and one of them, you know, he's like I don't know what I'm going to do and my teachers are pressuring me and I'm them, you know, he's like I don't know what I'm going to do and my teachers are pressuring me. And I'm like, love, you're going to live your life and you're going to change and you're going to do different things, like we are not going down that road of pressure. And I think it's so easy for people to do that or to be have navigated that path for decades and then be able then, where they're like, it's really hard to cause.
Karolyne LaFortune:I've noticed that people tend to look to others for answers, but really the answers are all within us and like and I've been noticing that for myself too lately, cause I, you know, with the business transition and stuff, and I'm like, oh, I just wish that it would go like this and do this. And, um, I just want like and I'm just kind of like, oh, I just want someone to do it for me. But I have to take accountability. If I want something done, I have to do it. It's the, the answers that are all in me. I just have to, you know, you know, take a second listen to my body and really feel into what it, my intuition, is telling me to go to do oh my god, and you know what that is.
Flic Taylor :So it's so evident in how you present to the world, how you lead your classes and also how you're sharing your incredible work with the world on social media. Because it's your social. I love it. I love it. It's so. It's so rare to see a small business of such authentic social media it really, yeah, it's a lot of work, but no, but it's you and I'm thinking it's, it's everything. And when you do your classes and you have some brilliant instructors as well, don't you at the studio? Oh yeah.
Karolyne LaFortune:They're great.
Flic Taylor :Yeah, but I'm like it's. But every single class I attended and I and I know, like the first one I was like, the second one was like oh. And the third one I thought I, why am I doing this, why am I doing this? And then something switched. And then the fourth one, I was like this is why I'm doing it.
Karolyne LaFortune:And I remember the fourth one. There was a lot of moves that clicked for you where you had been practicing them for three weeks prior.
Flic Taylor :And in the fourth class you, just you did it the first try and you landed it and I was like damn girl, you it was so exciting, yeah, yeah, I know it's, and it's interesting, um, because you put up a lot of videos on your social media, don't you? Of your, of your movement and whatever, and and you encouraged me to take videos. And so I have one from, I think, the second class or maybe the first, um, and so I have one from, I think, the second class or maybe the first, and then I have one from the fourth and they're just for me, no one is seeing them, they're just for me. But I was looking at them last night just because I knew we were going to be having our interview and I was just getting into that kind of flow of you know what we were going to talk about today. And there's a real difference because and it's not in the skill level, it's just how I'm holding myself- yes, and I noticed that too.
Karolyne LaFortune:It's like there's a different vibe to you coming into that fourth class especially. I felt like that was the fourth class where you really started to shine and you were able to let go let go yeah and like feel a little bit more liberated yes and it's, it's.
Flic Taylor :I guess we keep using that word, don't we? Embodying, which is why it's so perfect for your business. But it's such a difficult thing in life to try and embody your true self like we see it everywhere, don't we? There's books like years about trying to do this, but I do feel that, um, you know poll, and certainly the work you're doing in your studio is really helping people do that yeah, so important so, yeah, so important, so important. Oh my gosh, carolyn, like I don't know. It's interesting, isn't it?
Karolyne LaFortune:Here we are, you know, talking about burnout, like kind of being lost in life, trying like changing that inevitable growth which is so healthy and good, but I know hand on heart, when you're in the middle of it, it is, it's shit, it's shit oh, my god, I feel like I'm finally coming out of it now, where I'm like I'm feeling more grounded in what I like, who I am and but like, oh, I remember a few months ago even I was just like, oh, like it's exhausting, I have no energy to do anything and like, especially, and I'm stressed, I'm like got all these emotions happening. I'm trying to heal. At the same time, I'm trying to figure out who I am and it's yeah, it's a big. But I also feel like I needed to go through that to really embody what I teach. Yes, yes, right, because otherwise who am I to teach you this if I haven't had any experience with it?
Flic Taylor :oh, exactly exactly. There's nothing better than uh listening to someone else's lived experience yeah you know, and I'm sure this conversation is going to give a lot of comfort to to many people listening, because we all have those moments where, like what the fuck am I doing? And I, oh my god, like, if you, you go so far that you're like I can't turn, I can't go and be the old version of myself.
Karolyne LaFortune:No, I've gone through a portal and that portal has closed. It has, and that's the point where I go.
Flic Taylor :Oh, I just want to have a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit and lie down, because I'm not sure I can do this. Yeah, yeah, but it's so like people like you sharing their lived experience and and shining a light, for just listening to yourself, following your intuition, and that's been a priority for me now.
Karolyne LaFortune:It's like any small or big decision that I make. It's like, okay, what does my body feel? Because in the past I've had a lot of my intuition was telling me and it was like don't do it, don't do it. And I was like you know what, I'll just give it a try anyways, and I'll see what happens. And then I ended up getting fucked somehow, and then it was like I fucking told you so.
Flic Taylor :It's so true. Why do we do that? I do that all the time Because intuition is like a very quiet voice, a quiet knowing Exactly. It's very easy to go oh no, that's not right. And then, yeah, you're right. Every time you get fucked home, you're like, oh my God, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have listened to you when will I learn?
Karolyne LaFortune:When will I learn? Where will I listen? But the more. And it's a practice too, cause, like I remember, at first I was just doing what I thought I had to do, right, it was like, oh, I should be doing this, I should be doing this, but then I started to. It's when you start to slow down and really feel into your body that you're, that voice becomes louder and you can feel it and you can hear it. And it's just that's when you're like oh, and now I know, like, if there's even a small decision of like oh, do I merge to this lane when I'm driving, like I can feel it, oh, and then it's like do I listen to it or not?
Karolyne LaFortune:Yes, exactly Like little things and it's going to it's subtle, but the more you practice it, the better and easier it's going to be to really lean into it practice it, the better and easier it's going to be to really lean into it.
Flic Taylor :Yeah, and I'm going to say I bet your pole journey experience, everything, has led you to this point, absolutely yourself, to that point yeah oh my god, karen, you're inspiring me. I'm gonna trust myself and I'm gonna let go of that damn pole. You watch me in the next class you're gonna be like she's got it.
Flic Taylor :You'll see, in the next class you'll just be flying all over the place and I know, I remember in the second session I was like I was starting to get really like in my head and you said like you're just gonna get it one day and then everything's gonna click into place and I kept telling myself that keep going, keep going. Yeah, exactly, oh my god, this has been absolutely amazing conversation. I knew it would be. I knew it would be and I just love how um, wow, just how it's completely debunking all the myths about pole being, just about being really like strong and, you know, performing for others and it's. It's not about that, it's about all about you and nurturing.
Karolyne LaFortune:But I feel like the like, the pole, that's the kind of other direction that a pole has been taken to. It's like, oh, they were talking about maybe bringing it to the olympics and stuff, but it's like that's gonna take out that whole sensuality piece from it. Yes, and you can't. You can't do that. I don't know, I'm not. I'm not pro olympics for like, bringing pole into it. Yeah, it's about the creativity, it's about being in the feminine and once you take it to that, it's more into your masculine energy.
Flic Taylor :It is, isn't it? You're putting it straight into that masculine energy. That's really interesting. I didn't know that, huh.
Karolyne LaFortune:So it's like a lot of studios around the world are, like, focused more on the fitness aspect of it and then others are more focused on the sensuality aspect. So it's just really finding what's right for you, yes, and finding the right fit for you. But what we do is that we go all in, go sensual and yeah yes, it's amazing and it's such a nurturing space.
Flic Taylor :It really is. And, um, I feel like I'm a true testament to it because I definitely turned up intuitively knowing this is what I needed to do next, but without realizing I'd show up every week with all these kind of um reservations and just I was having to confront so many things, so many thoughts and feelings and he really helped me do that. So, thank you, it was incredible. Thank you, yeah, so cool. So at the end of the conversations I've been asking guests and like just quick fire, light-hearted questions, because everyone answers so differently. So I'm curious like on your dodgy, like really tough days, do you opt to move your body or move the remote?
Karolyne LaFortune:it depends, because it really depends how I'm feeling, like if I'm, if I haven't slept, maybe some days my body just wants rest and I opt for stillness and at that point I'm just like maybe full meditation so, or more remote. But then other days when I do feel like I'm like I need to, you know, I'm like I need to have some, I have some rage, or I have some like I need to move, then I, then I choose the movement part oh my god.
Flic Taylor :You see, even your answers are like embodying the masculine and feminine energy.
Karolyne LaFortune:I love it. I love it well, and it just depends too, because some days it's just too much and I just want to numb out and I watch Netflix. So, yeah, exactly, it's okay and we all need those days and it's okay to have those days, but we got to pull ourselves back out of that and come back into ourselves.
Flic Taylor :Amazing okay, uh, bag of almonds or bag of maltesers, chocolate, all savory basically.
Karolyne LaFortune:I mean, I really like cheese. I'm more of a savory person, but I really like some ccas, some chocolate-covered almonds. That'll do.
Flic Taylor :CCAs Loan them up. Do you ask for help or are you happy to hermit?
Karolyne LaFortune:No, I don't ask for help very much, but it's something that I'm working on, so, and that's also being more into the feminine where I'm able to receive right, so, yes, exactly like it can only be good.
Flic Taylor :Yeah, oh no, oh my god, okay. So what's the one self-compassionate thing you're going to do today that your future self is going to thank you for?
Karolyne LaFortune:Today I'm going to move my body and I'm going to eat some really good food.
Flic Taylor :Oh, well done, done. Oh, carolyn, I'll put in the show notes where everyone can find you and your amazing work, and I just want to say a huge, big whopping. Thank you for this amazing conversation. I knew it would be really good and um, and just thank you for doing the amazing work you do in the world, because thank you so much for having me oh, it's been so good and um, obviously then people will be able to reach out to you and find out more yeah, great, bye.
Flic Taylor :Well, you take care, okay, thank you thank you so much for listening to this episode of everyday burnout conversations. Take a peek at the show notes for any links to items discussed today. And if you want to continue the burnout conversation, you can find me on social media at FlickTaylorWrites, or you can head to my website, FlickTaylorcom, if you're curious and want to learn more on what it's like to work with me one-to-one. So in the meantime, rest up, don't forget to take good care of you, and bye for now.