Everyday Burnout Conversations
Everyday burnout conversations is an honest podcast sharing the burnout experiences of others from all walks of life. Host, Flic Taylor, is a writer whose passion for burnout arose when she became a mental health writer dealing with severe burnout - and yes, the irony is not lost on her! Enjoy these weekly conversations sharing stories of surviving and thriving, all delightfully wrapped up in epic truths, compassion, and humour.
Everyday Burnout Conversations
Amanda Charles | The fusion of intuition and emotional healing with The Psychic Psychologist
Amanda Charles CPsychol., is a highly sought-after and experienced International Chartered Counselling Psychologist (BPS), Registered Practitioner Psychologist (HCPC), Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Hypno-Psychotherapist, Reiki Healer, Psychic-Medium, and Meditation & Mindfulness Teacher.
When Amanda, the "Psychic Psychologist," first combined the worlds of psychology and psychic intuition, she braced herself for professional scrutiny. Yet, this deep-dive conversation reveals how this unconventional pairing has become the cornerstone of her life's work.
Her new book, THE PSYCHIC PSYCHOLOGIST, is for anyone who has ever felt burnt out, exhausted, is dealing with chronic illness impacting the quality of their life, or for anyone wanting guidance in tapping more deeply into their higher power and intuition.
Listeners are treated to Amanda's insights on the 'hierarchy of healing,' which draws parallels to Maslow's hierarchy of needs and explains why we need to reconnect with various levels of self in healing.
Amanda opens up about her extraordinary experiences, from precognitive dreams in childhood to the transformative health challenges that forced her to reexamine the link between emotional stress and physical well-being. She shares how these personal trials led to profound insights about holistic self-care, the lessons illnesses can teach us, and the power of psychological guidance in healing.
As we reflect on these beautiful stories, Amanda reminds us of the importance of community support, the power of embracing our true self, and the transformative nature of personal growth – a theme that resonates with anyone stepping into their own path of self-discovery after burnout.
Learn more about Amanda’s work
Amanda’s website
Amanda’s Instagram
Amanda’s Facebook
Amanda's YouTube
Amanda’s book: The Psychic Psychologist - Heal your past, find peace in the present, transform your future - published by Hay House
Please note, this podcast is not intended as medical advice. If you're having a rough time or concerned that you're experiencing burnout, remember YOU matter, so please reach out to your doctor or mental health professional for support and guidance tailored for you.
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Check out my latest work and discover how you can work one-to-one with me to tackle your burnout at flictaylor.com
Hello, I'm Flick and you're listening to Everyday Burnout Conversations. This is the honest podcast that shares burnout expertise, along with the stories of others from all walks of life that strive to inspire and help you manage and avoid burnout. Now, my passion for burnout and self-care came about when I became a mental health writer who'd lost her own mental health to severe burnout and it's an irony that's not lost on me. So get set to enjoy another great conversation, delightfully wrapped up in some wisdom, humour and great storytelling. Enjoy.
Speaker 1:Amanda Charles is a highly sought after and experienced international chartered counseling psychologist, a registered practitioner psychologist, life coach, nlp practitioner, hypno-psychotherapist, reiki Heeler, psychic medium and meditation and mindfulness teacher. When Amanda the psychic psychologist first combined the world's psychology and psychic intuition, she braced herself for professional scrutiny. Yeah, this deep dive conversation is going to reveal how this unconventional pairing really has become the cornerstone of her life's work. Now Her new book, the Psychic Psychologist oh my god, I love it is for anyone who has ever felt burnt out, exhausted, perhaps dealing with chronic illness impacting the quality of their life, or for anyone wanting guidance in tapping more deeply into their higher power and intuition to change their life. Listeners are treated to Amanda's insights on the hierarchy of healing, drawing parallels to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and why we need to reconnect with various levels of self in our healing.
Speaker 1:Amanda opens up about her extraordinary experiences, from precognitive dreams in childhood to the transformative health challenges that forced her to reexamine the link between emotional stress and physical wellbeing. She shares how these personal trials led to profound insights about holistic self care, the lessons that illnesses can teach us and the power of psychological guidance in the healing process. As we reflect on these beautiful stories, amanda reminds us of the importance of community support, the power of embracing our true self and the transformative nature of personal growth. It's basically it's a theme that resonates with anyone stepping into their own path of self discovery after burnout. So get set to enjoy this epic everyday burnout conversation with the brilliant Amanda. Charles, I am head over heels for your book, like really head over heels, like I just oh my gosh, there's so much I've even shown you and it's like got flags and highlighter and like dog, like I've written in the margins, and like bloody dog I love it.
Speaker 2:I love that so much. I love it.
Speaker 1:I just can't wait for more people to find this book and to read it. I've been telling all my friends I've actually started. You know there's a couple of friends who are like, oh, I'll read it along with you. And I was like, oh no, I read it in 24 hours. Yeah, we'll read it. But to anyone who's new to your story, tell us a little bit about how you came to the fabulous term the psychic psychologist.
Speaker 2:Yes. So thank you first of all for all the wonderful things that you've just said about that book. It's made my day. It is early days, isn't it? And I haven't really had a huge amount of feedback. I mean, there's some really nice reviews on Amazon and I've had some lovely emails come through, but it's always, it's always really nice to get that feedback because obviously that book has been well. In fact, that book's been a lifetime in the making, because it is through my life experiences that that book has been born. Really, every single chapter or whenever I refer back to something in my life, you know there's always a reason for it and I found that throughout my life.
Speaker 2:So the title the psychic psychologist was actually given to me by a very famous medium, gordon Smith. Now I don't know whether you know Gordon. He's also a Hayhouse author. I think he's written 26 books or something like ridiculous. He was the first. He was the first author in the UK that Hayhouse UK had. So Michelle Pilly, she flew up to Scotland to meet with Gordon to ask him to be their first author. So you know, he's very well known, very astute, and got a bit of a bit of a long history with Gordon, and I'll go back over that actually, because I think it's quite, I think it's quite important. But he started calling me the psychic psychologist and I very much rolled my eyes and I was just like, uh-uh, we are not going there. There is absolutely no way in this world that I am going to go and call myself the psychic psychologist.
Speaker 2:I was being respectful. But there was absolutely no way that was happening, because up until only a few years ago, this side of myself was very much, you know, close behind closed doors and I certainly wouldn't put the two together. In fact, it very much felt like professional suicide to come out and call myself that. So I knew that it was kind of my purpose and my destiny to bring the two together, and I knew that I didn't quite know it at that point, but then it started sinking in. I'm like, ah, okay, maybe I am supposed to be the psychic psychologist, like who else is going to be and who else's life experience has led them to this? I mean, I was literally born to be it. In fact, someone did an astrology reading for me and I'm not really into astrology and it literally shows it that even like my brother died at 36, even his death, it had karma next to it and it was amplified and it linked up to my work which showed like kind of counseling type thing which was amplified with intuition next to all the deaths that I've experienced. And basically she didn't knew nothing of me and I wasn't out as a psychic psychologist then, and she basically just said your brother died in order for you to do this work. All these deaths are all related. Yeah, so it's huge. It's huge. So I have to honor that. I have to honor, you know, those experiences. But yeah, so, gordon, he so back. So basically, let's just go, let's rewind back to the beginning. So I am psychic. It takes a lot for me to say that I'm owning it now, love it.
Speaker 2:So when I was a very young child, I would have a whole host of experiences. I don't write a huge amount about them in the book because the book's very much a self-help book. It's very much you know what's gone in. There is enough to let people know some of the experiences and some of the awareness to expand kind of your reality a little bit, just to like, just to, but with the science behind it, probably going to do another book that might delve into a bit of a bit more of those other things. I have said a few things on some podcasts. Some of it Bring it on, bring it on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I had all these experiences. You know my family didn't dismiss it, but they didn't understand it or know. So I was kind of left. I was kind of left with a lot of this. So I would go around and I would have this swirling energy in my hands and my fingertips and didn't know what that was and in fact for a long time just thought that was quite normal.
Speaker 2:And I'd been near people and I would know what was wrong with them and I'd kind of see things in, obviously, what I now know to be their aura. I'd see, you know, like darkness and you know various other things. I didn't see a huge amount of colors at that point, but I would see kind of blockages and things and just have a sense of knowing, knowing that something was wrong with them and often it would be stranger. So I would never know for sure. But, for example, after my grandfather died when I was seven, my mum's dad I told her that my her brother, who was 35, so he I didn't really know my dad was in the army, so I didn't really know my family that well.
Speaker 2:So I went to the funeral and at the funeral I said to my mum that my uncle would die from a broken heart, and she obviously took that literally. But I basically said that within that year that he was going to die, and he did. He died within nine months from heart. He was waiting for a triple heart bypass. I didn't even know, you know.
Speaker 2:So you know, yeah, there were, like there were so many different things and, like my auntie, she, I didn't know that she was struggling to conceive. So as well as knowing when people are going to die, I would also know about births too. So you know, she, she, I didn't even know to this day whether she's told people. So she's my only living relative on my mum's side. So apologies for putting this out there, but anyway, she was struggling to conceive, it seems, and when I went round there there was this blonde haired little girl that I knew and I knew her name was Sally Ann. I knew that she was going to have two, two, but these two blonde girls anyway, and I had the name Sally Ann.
Speaker 2:Turns out that she then ended up getting pregnant, because I kind of I didn't know what I was doing, but I was kind of bringing this kind of spirit baby through. And yeah, first she had a child called Sally, she had a child called Annie, two children, both blonde haired. When they were younger I didn't know, I didn't know, it was just normal, you know, and I used to kind of used to often have a lot of pre-coctive dreams over, kind of witness and know things that are going to happen and they would do. But I would also have this kind of I mean, I and now I was a parent myself, I would probably discount it as well. But I would often say things to them oh no, don't do this, because this will happen, or don't do that.
Speaker 2:And they would obviously just do because they're the adults, right, and when I was 13, we lived up in North Yorkshire and my dad had left the army and they decided that they wanted to run a pub. So they were coming down to Kensington to to run a pub and I think the course was like a 12 month course and I didn't want to go down and so I went and lived with my friend. But I said to them and now I think back 13 I said to them I don't even know how. I knew the difference. Don't sell the house. You need to rent the house out, because you're not going to go to the end of this course. You're going to decide you don't want to do it and at that point, if you've sold the house, we're going to move in to Birmingham at that point, which is not a place that we wanted to. I wanted to live, I wanted to stay where I was. We're going to move in with Nan and then it's going to literally split the family up and that's exactly what happened. They left at 11 months yeah, they left at 11 months.
Speaker 2:They then obviously had sold their house, so they moved in with my Nan and then found someone else and she came to live with us and then it just blew up and people all fell out, all the sisters and blah, blah, blah. You know so many different things like that. There were a lot of experiences like that that I would have as a child, and then I think I started getting frightened actually when I was in that, when I, as a teenager, I got more awareness that actually this isn't normal and people don't know. I actually didn't know as a. I only found out a few years ago actually, that people don't know about someone's life from looking at a photograph. I didn't know that it was only until my daughter.
Speaker 2:my daughter told me she was saying to me she was showing me some things from school and about her friends. And I started talking about one of the boys in the in the picture and just how he was struggling and blah, blah, blah. And she just kind of looked at me and like how do you even know that I haven't told you any of that? And I said, well, you just know, don't you?
Speaker 2:It's just like no, not really no, exactly so, but, but yeah. So when I was a teenager, I just started having more of an awareness and there were a few spooky things that would go on in the house that we moved into in Birmingham and I would often see things don't really know how to label them, but you know there were presences, shall we say? Is that a real word? There was a presence of things, yeah. So I started getting a bit frightened and I think I think I blocked it off and it was only really we zoom forward a little bit.
Speaker 2:I then went to work for Reuters. I did my psychology degree, I started working in occupational psychology, working with change management, leadership development, that kind of thing, and while I was there I got really, really poorly and I was diagnosed with a hyperpalactinoma, so a tumor on the pituitary gland, and which you all know as you've read the book, and obviously we had a little conversation earlier. So basically it was through someone that worked for me. She said, oh, my husband really feels like he needs to help you, which is really odd. Right, it is Not your normal conversation with someone that's booking your meetings.
Speaker 2:Not one of them is all that Exactly. So I was like, right, okay and she basically they'd gone off and done this Reiki course, reiki healing. I didn't even know it was at that point and so anyway, long story short, I went and had this Reiki healing session with them and nothing happened. So I kind of went away and they're like no, you need to come back tomorrow, really, really. So anyway, I did because, being you know, they were kind enough to give me their time and everything.
Speaker 2:But this time I decided I was just going to let go and I was just going to experience it and allow whatever was going to happen to happen. And by doing that, I think I just I let go of something. The boundaries, you know, we put up these boundaries, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I was having these like energy balls coming in and out. It's like purple, pulsating energy balls and green ones and I was like, oh, I kind of recognize that a little bit. And then I could feel there are only two of them, that I've got like two pans each, so four. I could feel like eight hands on me. It felt like it was sinking in and all these like weird things happening. And then I started having these memories of all the things that used to happen when I was younger and I could feel the energy and I recognized the energy and I thought oh wait a moment.
Speaker 2:So it kind of it kind of reconnected me to what I disconnected from. So then I quickly went off and learned Reiki and I started reading Deepak Chopra's Quantum Healing and looking into this stuff more and more. And so I was due to go back to my end of chronologist because I'd come off the medication because it was pretty horrendous and I knew that he was going to put me back on it. So I just started doing all this stuff on myself. I didn't really know what I was doing. Now in hindsight I think I've got kind of quite a natural ability to ascend to a higher frequency, yeah. And then so I was kind of pulling down and doing all these visual eyes that I didn't know what I was doing, but somehow I did know what I was doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And I managed to get my prolactin levels down from 15,000 to less than 10. That's incredible. He just like literally wrote spontaneous recovery through my notes. You know he couldn't, he had no explanation and you know he just had to, he just had to go. He wouldn't obviously take on board anything that I had said that I was doing. It had to be this like spontaneous recovery. But that was the kind of the first point at which I started to have an awareness that when we disconnect from elements of ourself so at that point I was. So in the book I talk about my hierarchy of healing a bit like Maslow's hierarchy of need. Are you like that?
Speaker 1:I really love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you've got these different levels of the self. We've got the physical self, physical beings, we've got the energetic body, we've got our thoughts, we've got our feelings, we've got our relationships with ourself and with other people, because we can only connect in with someone else to the degree we connected in with ourselves. So I started to realize, even even then didn't do that much with it, but I was aware that, because I disconnected from that more intuitive element to myself, from that energetic layer, that this was a manifestation of that physical manifestation of that blockage, that tumour, because the pituitary gland connects with the pineal, which is where you connect in with those kind of intuitive, other dimensional realms, shall we say. So I truly think I've blocked it on a physical level because I just couldn't go there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I even had that awareness. You know, it was the physical body. I started to realize, you know there were things that had occurred. So let's just say I was 13,. My mum and dad left for 11 months.
Speaker 1:Like oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:At the time it was no big deal, but I mean, that's a big deal, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I looked at my daughters when they got 13 and thought, even now, 23 and 18, they still live with me. You know, I don't know whether they'd be all right on their own for 11 months, 11 minutes, so so, yeah, so I was definitely carrying a whole host of things that I hadn't processed. Yeah, I processed it on a on an intellectual level or an emotional level, and therefore it was impacting me physically. So I was disconnected from all these levels and it was only through reconnecting that I was able to heal.
Speaker 2:However, I then went back to work for Reuters. I then went back to disconnect from it all again.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You learn. This is this is really, really important, because people think most people stop doing what helps them get better when they get better, yeah. And then I'll get clients and they're like, oh, I don't understand, my anxiety's got come back. Or oh, I'm depressed again, I'm or I'm burnt out again, and I'm kind of like, right, okay. Actually, to be fair, it's usually the other way around. I'll usually start telling them you stop doing your meditation, haven't you?
Speaker 2:Or you started, you know you can kind of start picking it up so I actually catch them before they get to that point. But you can see it and it drops off. I've learned from you know, over 20 years I've been a psychologist. You'd kind of learn along what you know, you start seeing patterns in people and and we all do it. So just because I'm a psychologist and just because I've got all that experience and witnessed so much of people, I'm not immune to being human and to doing things that aren't exactly helpful for me.
Speaker 2:And again, this is my journey, this is what keeps me, you know, disconnect back to reconnect, and that's what's really helped with the book that actually when we disconnect, it's just that call. When we disconnect, something's gonna happen. Something's gonna happen in our lives. It might be through our relationships, it might be through our emotions, it might be through physical disorders, but everything I believe and from everything that I've seen and witnessed, that our lives, our body, our emotions, it's all speaking to us, it's kind of trying to teach us. I call it inner tuition.
Speaker 1:I love this term.
Speaker 2:I love it. Yeah, so it's the wisdom of our lives speaking through us. You know, after my brother died, I went back to work and I had a new client come to see me and he'd come to see me because his brother this is amazing, like these synchronicities in life he came to see me I don't know whether I write this in the book, I can't remember. He came to see me because his brother had died and so I started working with him and he was carrying a whole host of anger, anguish that was not being processed, but he was focusing on this anger and he was trying to sue the NHS. He was going through to the government. It was just like not giving up because he believed that being in hospital negligence.
Speaker 2:And I reflected on that in relation to my why is this? Why now? Why is this man coming to me right now? And I sat with it and it was a reflection. No, don't, because my brother died in hospital and he died under very strange circumstances and I do believe it was an accident. I believe that he was kind of probably given too much morphine. He wasn't meant to die at that point, and I know that through other things, but he wasn't meant to die. It was an accident and I was going to start looking into it and blah, blah, blah bear in mind, my mum's just died as well and I've just given birth and I've got three. You know the?
Speaker 1:whole, you know.
Speaker 2:I wasn't meant to go down that road and that's why this, this client came to me. It was reflecting everything's mirroring, so his life was mirroring mine, teaching me hello, teaching me, teaching me not to go down that route.
Speaker 2:There's a lot more I can say about that situation. I think actually I do talk about his cancer in the book, don't I? Yeah, picking up on his cancer and things. But you know, I think it's really, really important that we are, we take the time and we are connected enough with what's happening around us. You know what's happening in the body, for example I talk about this one.
Speaker 2:But you know my husband, when he was cheating, he didn't want to hear what was going on and he ended up deaf. That same, that same day, when I confronted him, he literally the anger would threw him on a cellular level and he went deaf. He's got clinically, he's got a dead ear, came from nowhere, didn't have it hearing problems. He literally shut down, did not want to hear what I had to say, did not want to face it. I see it so much we there is such, it's just which, everything is speaking to us.
Speaker 2:That might be, might be sound a bit mad, but let's just step back and think about what, what, what is kind of symbolizing things. What's in what's? If you've got an illness, what does that mean? What does that mean about you? What was it teaching you? Where is it in your body. What does that part of the body represent? You know, breast cancer, all these kind of different things. Why the breast this is something about your nurturing is there's. You know all these kind of things that we can learn from, and when we listen to our inner tuition and we listen to and understand and acknowledge and work through what that lesson is, then that's when we can start to heal.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, because I've seen this with, I've got a friend, okay. So I'm just saying, as soon as you said that, as soon as I read that in the book, I thought this one friend. And it's interesting, isn't it? Because I think as humans, we kind of we're stuck in that pattern of being like, you know, push it away, try, and you know try and fix it. Fix it quickly. But what I love about your book is that you kind of you're guiding us to kind of stop, pause and start to look at things. And what was interesting, you said you know you had this tumour, but you didn't identify as a person with a tumour, and so that kind of you were like right, let's try and figure this out. Why is this here? What is this telling me? And I just find this fascinating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's, that's a key point and I'm glad you brought it up, Because the moment you start identifying with something as something, that then makes it. But it makes it real, it makes it more concrete on the physical, in the physical.
Speaker 2:So obviously it's really what's going on. I wasn't in denial. That's something different. I acknowledged it, I looked at it, I looked at the lesson and the learning and then I worked on that as well, as you know, looking at all the other levels of the self.
Speaker 2:So, for example, I don't know whether you know, but back in November, the end of November, december, I actually was rushed to hospital, to A&E, with a suspected stroke. So, yeah, so it came out of nowhere. It was when I was recording the audiobook Third day, the audiobook it was actually the day of the Haley House Christmas party. I started to get numbness in my hand and I just thought, oh, perhaps it's my ulna nerve you know, you're funny, bo, because I've been in the same position maybe I've trapped a nerve. So I ignored it. And then, basically, by the following day, I was being wheeled into hospital in a wheelchair, unable to move my legs and my arm. I was told but you're having a stroke, and basically ended up being blue-lighted to another hospital and stayed there for nearly a week. And yeah, basically, when I went in, they said it's stage seven, or level number seven on the stroke scale, which is long-term inpatient acute rehabilitation, and they weren't going to let me out. They were basically saying I was going to need to go to a rehabilitation centre and it would take about six to eight months to get to a kind of a better place. I was having none of that. So during my time in hospital I was doing my healing and the stuff that I do for myself.
Speaker 2:So, again, it's like not identifying on any of the levels. So am I thinking about? Am I thinking like someone that's just had a stroke, or am I choosing to look at this from another perspective? So I'm thinking, why now? Well, okay, just about what is the book? Am I living in alignment with the teachings of the book? No, actually I wasn't. I wasn't because, in order to write that book, I ended up disconnecting from myself. I wasn't looking after myself properly. I was working until two in the morning. I was getting up at four in the morning. You know I'd have two hours sleep and then I'd be back there writing again. So it was like wait a minute, you cannot. I'm someone that's integrity is really important to me and I just hadn't really connected it. I would not be in alignment with my integrity to come out and go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you buy my book.
Speaker 2:This teaches you XYZ and I'm not doing it, so I know that that happened to me. To go sort yourself out, you need to be in alignment with this book, but you also need to be healthy and well to deliver this book to the world. And I don't talk about obviously I do in the book, but I don't generally tell people like illnesses or anything that's going on in my life. And I realized that actually I meant to share this because this is a really this isn't my pituitary tumour. That happened 20 years ago.
Speaker 2:More than this is right now lived experience me using the teachers in the book to help myself get better, and by the end of that week that I had an MRI scan and they couldn't find they couldn't find evidence of a stroke. I've got these kind of subcortical lesions in my white matter which shouldn't be there, but they wouldn't be responsible for what had happened to me. So we're like oh, we can't really say that now. Like perhaps it was a software issue, perhaps it was like a functional neurological disorder or you know, just like the kind of connection between the brain and the body. So I also had Gordon Smith and some other wonderful friends sending healing. So the combination of all of that? Who knows?
Speaker 1:you know what? Who knows? But?
Speaker 2:I know for sure that there's lots. So I left, I was in a wheelchair, progressed to a Ximaphry, to a stick, to literally six to eight weeks really pretty much being back to normal. This hand's not great. I can't type for very long, it doesn't like it, but again, I think that's the center case of you need to just stop now for a bit. You need to stop. So we're just going to make sure your body can't properly function to go on your phone and text people back or to be starting to write your next book, which I did start writing, you know. So these are.
Speaker 2:There's always information available if you choose to see it. If I'd identified, my mum died from a stroke. She died at 56 from a stroke. My brother was 35, 36. My uncle was 35, all related to cardiovascular. All my mum's sisters apart from one in their late 50s, early 60s all to do with cardiovascular. So it's all the same thing. And last year a couple of my cousins and my cousin's daughter so going down a generation had had five mini strokes and died. So this is huge in my family. So if I had identified with that, obviously you know, there was a moment there.
Speaker 2:Don't get me wrong, I'm not super human, but I truly believe the outcome would have been different. And when I when I had my burnout, let's say, and I was diagnosed with ME and fibromyalgia, you know, there was a time I gave into that and I I did take on board that identity and I got lost in that for a while, for a long while, you know. But again, it was representative of what was going on. It was just after all the deaths. I didn't really want to live anymore. I didn't want to live anymore, and so I wasn't living. I was stuck in a room, a darkened room. I couldn't stand any sound, I couldn't turn a door knob. I was in so much physical pain. But that was the physical manifestation of the emotional pain that I wasn't ready to, to process, to deal with and what I was then doing. I was living my life. That was in a way that represented how I was thinking and feeling. I didn't want to carry on, and so my life was like okay, well, you're not going to, are you? Because you're stuck in bed now you can't walk, my legs would give way as I was walking.
Speaker 2:And this is really interesting. You know, I'm carrying all these deaths. I'm pregnant, my husband's cheating on me, I've got a whole host of things and I've got two little ones, like a baby and a three year old, that I'm having to look after. And I've got clients and I'm trying to complete my doctorate. I've got a whole. I'm carrying so much and then suddenly one day I'm walking and my leg starts giving way, and then the other one, and then both legs give way and I collapse because I'm just carrying so much emotional trauma that it comes. The body speaks. The truth doesn't, it just comes out through the body. But the whole thing, you know, the lessons, they're all there for us to hear and that's what I really hope people start to learn from the book, because we've not taught this, nobody's taught me this. This is from piecing together my life experience, from looking at my clients experiences, from reading the research you know, and everything in the book is backed up by science.
Speaker 1:It's not woo-woo, I know the title is on there it is, it's, oh my gosh, I think I've got so much highlighter in my book because, yes, you explain all the studies and the people and you know absolutely, it's all backed, all backed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's important to me.
Speaker 1:It is, it is. But you and I both know how easy it is to Just become so absorbed in what you're dealing with that it's so easy to abandon yourself, isn't it? And then, literally, that stress, all that shit, it manifests physically in your body. But it's so hard. You're like, what do I do now? You just feel so broken down. It's very difficult to know and that's what I love, love, love, love about your book. Is that it really? I feel like you're just holding someone's hand and you're just gonna be like, right, do this and then do this and then do this. Because you and I both know, like you know, not everyone has access to Meeting with a psychologist like, not everyone has that. And again, you can just feel so isolated and lonely.
Speaker 1:But I, just when I was reading it, I was just like I just have visions of people. You know, like I was three years ago lying in bed like covered in Ferrero Rocher rappers Been there Watching Netflix, going. I don't know what happened, and I just if I'd had your book then, oh my gosh, it's just so, it's amazing, it's amazing. So I know I can't, I'm gonna be like love bomb in this book, but I just I told you didn't. I like when I get a favorite book, I can't help but just keep referring to it and looking at it. And I found myself Holding it as I was emptying the bloody dishwasher and I was like oh, I love what you just said.
Speaker 2:Can I just thank you because, yeah, um, I Really wanted it to feel as though I was holding someone's hand walking through the book, so for you to say that it's just like, oh, that's amazing. That's exactly how I wanted it feel, and also, the whole reason I've written this book is so that people that can't afford to come and see a psychologist Can access it. That you know what 1499 or less For a book. If you put the work in, you can and I'm not just saying this, everyone says I'll buy my book you can change your life. You literally can. It's all in there for you to do it, and and that's how I wanted it to be.
Speaker 2:But on top of that, I wanted clinicians to read it. I want them to open their awareness to you know, because they'll just be working on a surface level, like you thought. Your feelings, your behaviors Might look a bit about patterns from the past and maladaptive beliefs, that kind of thing, but they're not taught about the energy body, they're not taught about quantum science, they don't know about epigenetics and the fact that we can heal ourselves and we can turn off some of the you know. There's the switches, some of those genes that that can create illness.
Speaker 1:There's so much in there that we need to know and we're not taught, and that's that's why I've done this and another thing I want to point out Like there's so many incredible tools in this book and when I was reading it I Never felt like you're, you're, you're words are so compassionate and and loving and gentle. I just feel that kind of lovely compassion that you don't feel overwhelmed by good, good like and I'm joking a lot in there and I worried about that. There's a lot in here and I've got 50,000 colored tags on them, but I, I definitely it's the kind of thing that I will do, the do these tools and I'll probably Revisit them every six months. Yeah, I'm probably going to buy another copy In a year because it's gonna be so worn down, because I would have kept revisiting it and that's what I love. So you know, yes, we're having this.
Speaker 2:I wanted the contents page for the exercises in there. I had to fight to get that because I already had too many pages. So I wanted that so that you can go. Ah, I want to. I want to go and do the emotional freedom technique again and then you can go. There is, I can just go straight to that. So it's little things like that that can make it a lot easier. So I'm glad they let me do that.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely so. I love how you talk about you know we are energetic beings and I've always identified with that and even as a kid I definitely was like, oh god, what's wrong with me? Why am I so like focused on this? But I love how you talk about you know you do that beautiful hierarchy of healing. I just love that. How can you talk us through like how you would guide someone, a client, to start to look towards their future self? It's in the book, but I'd love you to talk about that because it's just, it's that healing bar that I know. So you know what.
Speaker 1:Someone is listening to this and they're where I was four years ago and I just want to give them the biggest hug and tell them they're amazing and it's going to get better, because I know how I can get. Even now I can get really emotional about it. You feel so lost and like what's going to happen. So you know what? Amanda, I'll hand it over to you because your words and wisdom is going to just give them that little bit of hope to walk to the bookshop and get your book. So go for it or just click online.
Speaker 2:If they're stuck in bed, let's not make them walk to the bookshop. Yeah, exactly, order, click and order done, click and order.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2:So the way I've done the book is like there's a timeline going through the book. So, firstly, you need to have an awareness of what's occurred in the past. So, like I was talking, you need to connect in with this inner tuition. You know what is your body teaching you? What is, what is your, what are your emotions and your thoughts? Where is it coming from? Because if you're not aware of how you've become the person you are today, then you're on autopilot. Anyway, most of the time life's just too busy, isn't it? So you are being fueled by programming that you're not consciously aware of, and it will be present. And it will be present because of the experiences you've had in your life. So the beginning of the book was that. But I had to switch it around because I had an awareness that wait a moment, we have to be in the present moment first. We've got a. We've got a de-stress our system in order for anything to actually work. So I had a little jig of the book right at the last minute. I don't even know why I didn't think of it earlier, because I wanted it to be linear, and then I thought no, no, no, it can't be. I need to jig it. So, first of all, so, first of all, so for anyone listening first of all, you've got to be able to Regulate your emotions. You've got to be able to deactivate your stress response system, because when you're highly activated, which you probably are, if you've got an illness or if you're struggling in a relationship Remember, this book isn't just for people that have got illnesses, we've spoken about that a lot today, but it's it can be just somebody that's unhappy in their life. It can be somebody that just wants a change. They just want to be a different future self. And the process is the same for everybody, and that's that's the good thing about this. It's as it's as helpful for you if you're just a bit dissatisfied with your life and want something different, as it is if you've got a disease or all difficulties in your relationship. So we come in the present moment and there's loads of tools here that help you learn to regulate your emotions. You know, we're all seeing it online, aren't we? We've got breath work, we've got cold therapy, we've got grounding. We you know what, though? They're really simple, really effective techniques and tools that have got scientific backing that people can just go, and we do.
Speaker 2:I had to pick and choose. You know people have said to me you've got loads of things in the book. How did you choose what you were going to put in there? Because actually that book was probably nearly twice the size at one point had to get rid of things. Yeah, honestly, I wasn't hey house's best friend at one point. So, like you really need to get this book down. And they want this is still too big. They wanted it smaller.
Speaker 2:Um, I wanted it to be Easily digestible for people that are struggling. But they had to be. They had to be tools that people could Use easily but that were effective and that they could just learn themselves. And I remember I'm not alongside them. I want them to feel that I'm alongside them, but they still need to be able to do it themselves. There's no point being too complicated, although some of the things are a bit more complicated, like the genogram, that kind of thing. I can see people looking at that and go what? Um? But other people might gel with it. You know it's finding what works for you. Yeah, so in the present moment, there's loads of tools to help you regulate your nervous system. Bring that stress response system down. Feel safe. We need to feel safe. Safety first.
Speaker 2:Yes, and then we go down the timeline to the past to find out how we've become the person that we are today. And when we go to the past we go to before, during and after your birth and the. I can do this now I'm the psychic psychologist. I couldn't have done this as the psychologist. So before your birth I'm bringing research um from. One of the chapters is the life before life. So research on past lives and Research that shows actually within this lifetime, how people have been impacted by past lives that they are actively Recalling. And I think there were five thousand different Um from one of these pieces of research. They interviewed five thousand different people.
Speaker 2:Um, there's a whole host of research out there that we just pull away, don't we? We just think, oh, that's a load of rubbish Because we haven't experienced it, or have we? You know, we don't really know Um. And also before birth there's lots of this just ancestral trauma that comes through. We look at cellular memory and how that's passed through in the generations. There's loads of research behind that. And then we go to the intrauterine trauma, trauma within the womb, and obviously I've got the experience of that with having, you know, my daughter Um through all the baths and of course, that's going to influence her when she's born, because if you've got a mother that's been traumatized during pregnancy, then it's going to affect attachment, it's going to impact like depression, that kind of thing. So, um, it's really getting to grips with all of those Encounters or even just having an awareness. You know, you might not, you might not even with the techniques in the book, you might not access some of those past life memories, for example, and it doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2:At some level you are aware and you know and you can use the tools like emotional freedom technique, like kinesiology, that we've got in the book. You can still use those tools without having the actual information, which is why I chose them, so you can process those things from the past On each of those levels of the self. So I bring in tools that help work on a physical level. I bring in tools to help you work with your emotions. I bring in tools to help you work with your thoughts, your beliefs you know your values and looking at things on an energetic level as well. So bringing in tools for that. So we go to the past, have an awareness of the past, process the past, read yourself from the past. In the present, you've got peace in the present. You found that because you can regulate everything, and then From that place, you can start looking at your future timeline.
Speaker 1:But you need to do all that work first. I know and I think this is what so many of us need to learn to do, because I get it and I did it you just, let's face it If you've burnt out, you're pretty much you're prone to overachieving, yep, pushing yourself, perfectionism, pleasing others, poor boundary, like let's just shove it all in a sack. I've taken what's for all of them and so your default is to push this burnout away, which is why so many people you know go to. They spend years burning out. I did it. You know people Psychological, isn't it? Yeah, it is, it is, let's face it.
Speaker 1:I started this podcast because I couldn't bear to think of anyone being struggling alone and I wanted to hear the stories of others when I was struggling. So I was like, right, I'm going to do this podcast, right, yeah, but, darling, I burnt out talking about burnout. Yeah, hello, yeah. So, and it's because you're just like right, you know, sleeves up, let's fix this, let's make this better. And I just really wanted to go to my future self. But what? Your book? Well, I was brought back to my knees and I had to go back to square one, but what I love about your book. Is that right? Come on, do these steps first, and then you can look at your future self.
Speaker 2:And it's annoying, isn't it? We just want to flip straight there, and that's you know. There's so much about manifestation and everything. That's why it doesn't work, because you're still carrying those past patterns. You just reeled off a whole host of the perfectionism called barrens. I don't know. That's not going to be any different when you're in your future self. Do you really think you're going to keep that future self? No, you're going to go straight back because you haven't changed anything, you haven't listened to your inner tuition, you haven't worked on those different levels of the self you might be going. Oh, yes, yes, I'm going to. I'm an energetic match for XYZ. Okay, what happens when it gets to your thoughts?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What happens when it gets into the feelings and into the body, what happens when you're seeing your everyday life. Have you, have you thought about that? No, so, and that's also in the books. It's kind of my take on manifestation. It's my release and reprogramming method.
Speaker 1:I bloody love that. I've always got more on a manifesto shit out of this. As soon as I read that I was like, oh, oh, get it.
Speaker 2:Now I see, and that's the thing. So if you're wanting to release something, so we bring in the hierarchy of healing again. You go from the physical. So if it's an illness, we work from the physical up through the levels of the self to release it on an energetic level. If you wanted to call something in like our future self, we have to start on the energetic level and bring it down into the physical. So when we're looking at that future self that we want, that healthy future self that's vibrant and full of life, right, we need to be able to visualize that, obviously. So we need to think we need to connect in with that person. At the moment we're disconnected from them. We've got a whole host of different timelines we can go down. Often we loop back through the same thing because that past gets projected onto the present and into the future. Now we've released the past, we don't know, we no longer have that programming. We could reconnect in with it if we wanted to.
Speaker 2:But we're consciously, we've got to be really conscious. We're consciously choosing not to, and we do that by choosing to identify there's that word that we spoke about earlier identify as something and someone else. We want a different life, and that's the life we're going to identify with. So, what are we doing on the physical level? You know, where are we? What's our environment like? Even at that basic level, what are we doing? What are we behaving like? What are our habits, what are our patterns? You know, how are we interacting with the world? How are we feeling as that future? Are we feeling like a victim? Are we feeling alone? Are we feeling stagnant? No, we're not, because that's the old us. We want this new person who's vibrant and full of life, and they can have that because of what they're doing. So we go back to that lower level, right? So they're doing what they need to do in order to feel that way. And in order to feel that way, they're creating certain chemistry in the body, which then kind of has a feedback loop. What are they thinking? What does that future me need to think in order to pull off this different life? Well, they're not going to be thinking what they used to think, because that's going to take them straight back there.
Speaker 2:So then, you need to consciously construct that. You need to think about you know, what would you be thinking, what would you be believing, what would you be, kind of speak, be believing about yourself and about other people and about the world, that would be different, right? If you've been in burnout or if you've been ill or you've dissatisfied in your life, you're going to be thinking something different. So you've got to write all this down. You've got to look at this on all the different levels. Then, moving out into the energy body, you know what is that? What is that connection with your purpose? Get that. That's different. Most people don't even have that connection. Get in with it on a spiritual, a higher frequency level. Looking at your relationship with yourself, your relationship with other people. I had to reduce the book so I had to get out how to be present with others without being absent from yourself. So that's the kind of the part that relates to working with other people. But that's okay. There's enough in here, I think, already.
Speaker 1:No, we just got caught off on. You Can't take a break and then write more. Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:Yes, then we're consciously creating all of that on every level of the self and then you have to then bring that down into the everyday. So you've created it and now you need to kind of let it drop into your timeline. So then we're connecting in. So there's lots of research. People just think, oh, visualizing you know what's that? That's no big deal, it actually is. They did so. We spoke about, like stroke, what I was doing. There's research which I already knew, which is in the book. They couldn't see the difference between an MRI scan of somebody that had had a stroke versus with the person that had done physical therapy to try to like help their movements and things, versus someone that just imagined it the actual MRIs at the end of it, they couldn't tell the difference between the two. There's loads of research that shows the power of visualization. So we need to connect in with that self on a visual. You know, visualize that, drop it into the timeline. So I'm bringing a meditation that allows you to drop that in through the timeline, bringing you all the way back to now so that you've got these kind of because we have this. You see, part of the way in which I developed this is because I've seen down timelines since I was younger, so I kind of know how they work. And so there are set. There are set points within your timeline of your life that are going to happen. There are many others that you can go off in different ways, but if it doesn't happen in one way, believe me, it will happen in another. So if you're meant to have that experience, you will have that experience. I've seen it so much you can.
Speaker 2:When I met my husband we're not married now, ex-husband we actually still are married. I'm trying to get divorced but we're going. But I knew I said to my friend at the time, and he would like to what? In 10 years time he will cheat on me with a girl that will look just like I did when he first met me. She'll be 21 and she'll be from Hampton Court. Yeah, you would think I'd go okay, not going to see you anymore. But I knew that was one of those really important, pivotal moments on my timeline. So if I swerved away from that, something else was going to come in another way and I knew that I was meant to be with him to produce the children you know. So there was a purpose to us being together. But I also knew that we both had to experience that as well. So I allowed that to unfold and true to form. 10 years later, everything happened. Although she worked in Hampton Court, she lived about three minutes down the road Literally identical like hairstyle, everything. When he first, I know, bizarre, I don't know.
Speaker 2:So my point to that is there are things along our timeline that are going to happen. So by consciously doing what is happened, naturally, then we can help sway, hopefully by embedding it onto our new timeline with the energy, with the physical, with all those different elements of the self, then we can steer that. It's like we rooting a river, you know, like we've got to etch that out. We've got to keep replaying it, we've got to drop it into the timeline from that higher frequency down into the physical, but then we've got to act on it. We've got to act on it.
Speaker 2:There's no point, you know, having it in your head if you're not living as it. And so I do a really simple thing in the book, which is, like you know, you set up your day the day before for tomorrow. What can I do tomorrow? That's going to take me one step closer to becoming that future self. At the end of the day, tick it off. You know, simple, if you don't, it gets lost, it gets lost. And again, you know, when things change in your life, things get lost, don't they? So you have to conscious. All about being conscious, conscious to these things and constructing things how you want them to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and to me it's. It's keeping you focused on you, you know, because it's so easy, certainly with family life, just modern day life, work, everything you know. You're just, you're pulled in so many different directions and I love that. When you were like, what are three things? You can well, three little steps, because instantly I have my vision of what I want to achieve, now I'm very much like oh, I want to swap timelines. I didn't have the language for it, but when I made your book I was like, hey, let's do some timelines.
Speaker 1:But you know it can feel. I think it can feel overwhelming because you just want something so badly and you're like, yeah, but I'm here, how am I going to get over here? I love that where you're like just little steps, little steps.
Speaker 2:It's all good, but also think about the energy that you're creating. I want that so badly. That's the energy of striving. That's not the energy of your future self. Yes, so you're not going to get there? Oh well, spotted, sorry, thank you. That's why you're coming back to each step. You're just letting it go. You're focusing in on the moment and focusing in on being that future self now, having the energy of that future self now, as best you can.
Speaker 1:I loved your example in the book that you said you manifested you were like right, I want to win the Hay House competition, I'm going to bloody do it and this is what we're going to do. And I loved how you explained how you had almost visualised that phone call and she ported to the car park.
Speaker 2:I'd more than visualised it. I'd stalked her because it was COVID. Because it was COVID, I knew that she'd be phoning from home to tell me that I'd won. But I don't answer the phone if I don't know the phone number. So I had to find out. I just googled and I found out the area Obviously I haven't gone too fast talking. I knew the area code for where she lived, so I knew that when see the language, when that came up, that I would answer the phone issue and tell me. And I'd already booked the restaurant for my daughters and I to go and celebrate.
Speaker 2:And it was when we pulled into the car park the phone rang and I said to the girls I'm just about to win the Hay House Writers Workshop. I even did an Instagram like back before I submitted it and I did this thing with like number one and that I was winning, that I'd won it and everything. Because the thing is, I told a few people about my book, about what it would entail. Prior to that, I think, oh my God, I know this great publisher and all the time I go, no, thank you so much. That's kind of it. It's being published by Hay House.
Speaker 1:And they'd be like really, I'm like yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, how did you get that? No, but I haven't got it yet, but I'll be getting it soon. You know, it was just there. I just that was where I was heading, that was who I was to be.
Speaker 1:And it could only be Hay House, because if you think of Louise Hay's journey and how she kind of positive thoughts and affirmations and that work to healing her illness, it could only be Hay House and it could only be you who wrote this book.
Speaker 2:Well, it's true, it's true, and that's the thing you know we started off by. I discounted that side so long and it is still hard for me sometimes to own it and say it. But you know what I've just got to submit now? And it is because the whole story leads to this point.
Speaker 1:It does, it does. You know what I love that story you tell of your lovely dad when he passed away and you were like, send me the messages. And you were like, oh, I'm really struggling with this psychic psychologist. And then the Beatles came on the radio.
Speaker 2:Yeah, did I write that in the book. No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:You had it on a podcast. Yeah, yeah, because I follow the thread always. Like I'm just like, oh my God, I can't get enough of this story. I love that story now. So I was following the story. I love that story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, share that one that is a different word. I think we can tell you that one now. Yeah, well, no, but it's true Like there were loads of different. So basically I would do so in everything that happened and I was getting really frustrated with it. And the reason I first met Gordon was from a similar situation.
Speaker 2:So after my mum died, there were a number of different things that were happening and I was just like I would know things that I shouldn't know. And I'd be hearing her and she'd be telling me where her necklace was, she'd be telling me where the address book was. All these things were in places they should not have been. And I'm like, well, it's not a coincidence, because I heard it in my ears and I went there and it was there. And my dad was like, why would you look in my car for the address book, like it's always in the bureau? I'm like, well, I don't know. Anyway, those are these things. And it was annoying me. And I'd said to my dad even back then you know he wasn't diagnosed as being poorly at this point We'd had a conversation and I said, look, dad, I'm really fed up, like when you're not here anymore, can you please come back to show me if it doesn't harm you, because I just everything.
Speaker 2:I would look for scientific explanation, I would look for an alternative explanation. There'd be something that would always be, something that would make me not necessarily doubt it, but it would give an air of well, it could be something else. There's no definitive and you know, I am very much someone that and you might have seen this in the book I don't ever tell someone something is fact and very much I like to present a number of options for people to make their own decision based on their life experience and their thought processes. I'm not, I don't dictate. This is my journey, these are my thoughts, this is my experience and yours is very different. And take what you can and adapt it as you will for your life, you know. But yeah, so I was pregnant, my mum had just died, I'm sat on the bed, no-transcript, and I've got this stuff going around in my head and I just want to know.
Speaker 2:And then I had this sense that I needed to switch the television on and I'd pop the TV on and it was a BBC2 documentary and it was a Gordon Smith. I'd never heard of him, I didn't know anything about mediumship or anything at that point and he was working with this couple whose son had just died and he was talking, he was giving like first names, surname, street names, everything really really accurate, and I'm like mmm. And then this the Voice said he will show you beyond all reasonable doubt, and I didn't know yet, but he wrote a book called that a couple of years later. But he wrote that was the title of one of his books, but he hadn't written it at that point.
Speaker 2:Anyway, so I'm just assuming which you would do that I'm meant to get a reading from Gordon Smith. So I told my friends and so for my 30th birthday they bought me tickets to go and see Gordon and they came with me and we went to Bristol or somewhere it was. We were sat in this room with a couple of thousand people and I'm sat there a little bit smug Also a little bit not you know, a little bit nervous as well.
Speaker 2:Thinking this is my moment. I'm going to hear from my mum or my brother and I'm going to know for sure. And it ended and there was nothing. I was really like, felt, and I'm sure lots of your listeners will have experienced these things, Some of them, you know you left feeling bereft again because you know that one connection that you're desperate for and you feel that that one person can give that to you and they don't. But I'm not somebody you know, key for burnout here. I'm not someone that gives up. So I'm like right, okay, this is really strong, this has to happen.
Speaker 2:So I queued up to get my book signed by Gordon, just so that I could ask him for an appointment. So I queued up, spoke to Gordon and he said oh, I'm really sorry, dear, I'm not doing me readings at the moment. You'd have to wait about 10 years. And I'm like that's fine, I'll wait 10 years, no, five years, Do I say 10? Anyway, five years, you have to wait five years. All right, that's fine, I'll wait. And he went no, no, no, I couldn't do that.
Speaker 2:Anyway, it was actually a hay house event and they were pushing me along. I was like, oh, I was really annoyed that I was just getting poo, pooed and pushed. Little did I know 20 years later I'd be writing a book for them. Weird, hey and yeah. So I left there deflated and I started looking up how to get an appointment. I couldn't.
Speaker 2:Then I came across this course in advanced mediumship. I thought if I put myself on that, then Gordon will be there, Then he might do some readings, Then I might hear from my mum and then I might get what I need to hear. So I put myself on it, obviously expecting to not be allowed through. I'm not an advanced medium, I was nothing of the sort, so I thought. So I went along to this advanced mediumship course and Gordon split the group into two and I had to go downstairs with this lady, Mary Alma. So I was already thinking, oh my goodness, I'm not even with Gordon. And so we're around in this circle and she's saying right, everybody introduce yourself.
Speaker 2:And people are like I've been a medium for 20 years, I'm a platform medium and I do this for a job, and blah, blah, blah. And it came to me and I was like oh no, I can't get out of this. There's no like, there's no exit. I've just got to know. Well, I'm a psychologist and anyway, then it was straight away up to the front. You had to do like a platform, mediumship reading, where you're standing up there and you're giving a message, you're connecting with spirit, you're giving them. They don't teach you how to do it, You're just doing it because they're advanced, aren't they Right? So I'm like, okay, I don't know what I'm doing. It came to me. I thought do you know what? I'm never going to see these people again.
Speaker 1:It's all good, whatever what have I got to lose?
Speaker 2:So I went up there and I stood there and then all of a sudden, this information started coming to me and I was like I got the name Stuart and it's Stuart with a U, not with a knee, because everybody would always spell his name incorrectly and it would really annoy him. So he really wants you to know that it's Stuart with a U, not with a knee. And then I got this sense.
Speaker 1:Bear in mind, I don't do this.
Speaker 2:This is not what I do. I'm a psychologist. At Words of Reuters, I felt like I was hanging and I felt like I had an experience that I'd hung myself. So I felt really bad. Then I'm like, how do I say this? And I thought, okay, I'm just going to do it. And I said I feel like he hung himself. And then I had this sense. It was six months ago. So I started saying all of this stuff and then I had this like a, this whirlpool in front of me with a wedding ring that was going down, almost like going down the toilet, and I didn't know whether it was metaphorical, whether somebody's wedding was going down the drain. So I was saying it blah, blah, blah. Long story short deathly silence.
Speaker 1:And I thought oh no.
Speaker 2:Get me out of here. When's the break, you know? And then Mary, the lady that was running the workshop, she looked quite emotional and she said, thank you. She looked older lately. Thank you, dear.
Speaker 2:I've been waiting to hear from Stuart and and yes, it was Stuart with a you, not with a me, we'd always spell it wrong and it would really annoy him. And yeah, he committed suicide six months ago. And she said and you know what? This morning I was washing my hands and as I was washing my hands, my wedding ring fell off down into the water in the sink and I didn't believe her. So I honestly, truly believed that she was saying that to help me, to kind of save me from like this, this death in this room. And I carried that with me until about five years ago when I met her again with Gordon and I said to Gordon is this the met you know? I said you don't know this. We're actually good friends now you don't know this.
Speaker 2:But like about 20 years ago, like 2005, I went on an advanced mediumship course and Mary said and he went oh, I know Stuart. I knew Stuart. Oh, he was lovely, he was one of Mary's favorite students. Sadly, he committed and I was like, are you joking? And he went no, no, no, no. And I said I honestly thought that she was saving me, I honestly thought it didn't actually happen. He went oh no, that definitely happened. So, wow, okay.
Speaker 2:So the reason I'm telling you this story, this isn't my dad's story yet, but this is to show basically long story short over the years following that. So I discounted that. I did the odd course with Gordon. I did some of the courses and I did things like I was blindfolded and I would know in a room of strangers, that be about 50, 60 people in this room from all around the world. Every time, every time we did it, I would know before the break. So he tell us before the break half of you are going to be blindfolded, half of you are going to just find someone randomly to sit with. I would know exactly who was going to come and sit in front of the screen before we did it. Well, I knew, but I also didn't know if you know what.
Speaker 2:I mean, but every time it was the person I thought it would be and there were really odd things that would happen. So I'm completely blindfolded and all they're allowed to do. So you just start sprouting a load of rubbish like you think you are anyway I thought I was and all they would do is just tap you with a finger if you've got something correct.
Speaker 1:Really Okay.
Speaker 2:But some of the stuff. Honestly, like one of the one of the ladies I kept touching my necklace. I had this like silver disc necklace and the reason I spotted her was because I noticed her necklace was similar to mine. Like she was in the distance and I knew she's the lady that's going to sit in front of me and I told her all this stuff. That was really accurate all the way through. And then at the end I thought, right, I've got to say about this necklace because I was, I was scared to put myself out there. I knew that by saying about the necklace, I was basically telling her, I knew who was sat in front of me. So I said, oh, you've got this necklace and it's really important to you and you feel like you should never take it off. It's important to you for your wellness. And I said the word wellness. Anyway, when we went through, we had the feedback and she was telling me tick, tick, tick, all this stuff. She got her necklace and she went you won't believe this. And I said what? And she turned the necklace around and on the back of her necklace and capital letters, it said wellness. I was like, okay, that's weird.
Speaker 2:And then there was another lady like this, this Chinese lady in the group, the only one in the whole group, and I knew she was going to sit in front of me. But when I was there, I so someone. Someone is sat in front of me and I'm like, is it this lady? And I got the images of so. My mum and dad used to live in Hong Kong. My dad was in the Army, sergeant Major in Hong Kong, so I saw these pictures from when I was a child, from Hong Kong. Oh, okay, well, maybe this is telling me it is her.
Speaker 2:And then I got the name Bert and I'm thinking that doesn't really fit right. That's not right. And then I had this vision here to the right of me, which seems to be when someone is, it doesn't have a physical body anymore, they seem to present over this side. I'd learned enough by now that that's how they come to me, yeah, and I felt like he was a grandfather and I felt like he was like in his 80s. I felt like he was about 80.
Speaker 2:And maybe it's not her, maybe I've got it wrong and I'm a perfectionist, so like, oh, my God, I've got it wrong. Energy changes, doesn't it? It's like, oh, I can't say this. So anyway, I just thought again, go with it. So I said I've got, I've got somebody here and I feel like he's your grandfather, and I got a tap because obviously her grandfather might not have died. And I said, but I've got the name Bert and I didn't get a tap and I'm like okay, but as soon as I said I've got the name Bert, it changed to Albert. Then it changed to Alberta and I saw mountains and I said I feel like he's from Alberta, canada. I got a tap.
Speaker 2:And then I had this. I had this like I felt like I was choking. I had the and I said I feel like, I feel like I'm choking, I feel like, basically, her grandfather was called oh, the whole point here. Sorry, I've forgotten to say he was Caucasian. He was Caucasian and I had the name Bert, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, turns out her grandfather was Caucasian. You wouldn't have known it from looking at her. Her grandfather was Caucasian. He was from Alberta. He died on his 80th birthday, choking on his birthday cake.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, where does that come from?
Speaker 2:So my point is I needed at times that also wasn't enough, but I needed my own lived experience to be able to connect in with the fact that something so I would still say that doesn't mean someone's diet is giving me that information. That just means I have access to information that's occurred in somebody's life. You know, that would be like a, like an iCloud of information that you can connect into. I mean, I've had other experiences which, if you've heard me say about my dad, then you'll know the other experiences that I've spoken about potentially which. Well, we can go there if you want to.
Speaker 2:I don't know how we're doing for time, but the lesson there for me very much was had I got a message or a reading from Gordon or anyone else, it would never have been enough because I would have just like I did with myself, I would have looked for scientific explanation, I would have thought, oh, he's looked me up on Facebook, or I would have, I would have found something to disprove it, or it would never have been enough, because what I really needed was that connection myself, and so that's why I don't do mediumship readings for people I can, and there's a really good video of me out there doing platform work that I posted so that people can see that I can actually do it, but I choose not to.
Speaker 2:And I choose not to because I believe it takes away from some, takes away someone else's power and their autonomy that they need to connect in with themselves and by doing that they can connect in with this information for themselves. And again, that's my life experience that showed that, because I know it wouldn't have been enough, I still haven't had a reading from Gordon and and you know, Gordon, you've written the foreword of the book and it's amazing.
Speaker 1:Have you ever read?
Speaker 2:it no, no and so yeah. So that's really, really important. There's a really important message there. So I could have gone off and I could have done mediumship readings, I could have done psychic readings for people, but that's not the psychic psychologist, is it? That's the psychic.
Speaker 1:No, I'm listening to this and I'm thinking. This is everything. This is that like thread of the message throughout the book is that it's all about you living your life and you, you living it, you embodying it, you changing it, you, it's that real journey. So, oh my gosh, it could only be you who wrote this book Only.
Speaker 2:Only, only, and this is the thing. So I will tell you the thing about my dad.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know you're dying to hear I just think it's exactly so, to connect up the dots, obviously, that that's the whole story with Gordon and that led through from me wanting to know for sure this whole disbelief needed to be there as well, because I needed really huge concrete experiences to prove to me beyond all doubt.
Speaker 2:And you know, I know for sure that I know a load of people in this field mediums, mediums, psychics and I really have had quite profound experiences that many of them haven't. But I don't have them all the time and it's like since I was a little girl I knew that I would. I was here to help people, to help and heal themselves, and I knew that I would have a lot of suffering, but I also knew that it wouldn't stay, that I kind of had to experience it. I had to go through this in order to truly know another person, to truly be able to empathize, understand and connect in with those people that needed help. Because this is all about for me I want to help prevent people from suffering in the way that I have.
Speaker 2:And in order to do that, I need to know what it's like for them. And it's the same. It's the same with this. You know, I can't, with integrity, say to somebody anything, so for many, many years I would never use the word spirit. I couldn't use that word, I couldn't talk about. I'll talk about energy, because you can feel energy right. You can see energy if you're able to. I know not everyone can yet, unless they talk.
Speaker 2:But to know for sure, to know for sure that that actual person that has died that you knew is the person giving you that information, is really hard to know for sure. Because we've got this collective consciousness. Perhaps you're carrying around your little iCloud above you and I talk to you and I can connect in with that iCloud through what I call telepathy. So you've got tele empathic connection. If you've got a deeply empathic connection with someone else, you can gain access to information, not in a malicious way, but people give you access, they connect with you and transfer, just like you would read body language. You know you can get information. So you could just have this cloud above you that tells me information about your life and people that you've been connected to. And that's all I would allow myself to say. But the reality is it's more than that, because the information that you get from people is often information they don't even know themselves, until they've gone away and found it. So, yeah, you kind of have to, I kind of have to have to kind of own that now, and this story will prove it. So I'd ask my dad to prove to me, if he could.
Speaker 2:I'd had loads of experiences like the one you just said, when I would have a conversation in my own mind. I wouldn't have the radio on because I'd had so much death, so much trauma. I just needed quiet, you know, just needed quiet. And I would have these conversations and then suddenly the radio would come on. That's a digital radio. So I would think to myself digital radios, they can come on and off. You know, depending on. People have said to me no, that's not true, but in my mind, in my mind, I decided that digital radios can turn themselves on and off if you're going into a different area, but they would come on at poignant times like the one that you've just said.
Speaker 2:I can't bring the psychic and the psychologist together. That's professional suicide. How can I even think that? Because I knew I was meant to bring them together and then, like you just said, the Beatles would come on. And the Beatles came on and said there will be an answer, let it be, let it be. And they're always really profound and anyway.
Speaker 2:So I did count all these different things. I mean I can't even remember half of them now. My dad did say I was meant to write it down. This is after he died. I was supposed to write it down. He told my cousin but I didn't. But anyway, I'm sure I've written them on a text message to her. I'll be able to find them at some point, put them in my next book, anyway.
Speaker 2:So the gosh, I don't know how much to say. There's so many different elements to it. But basically I've kept trying to discount all of these things. As I've said, my dad, he lost the ability to speak quite a few years before he died and just after my mum died he met someone else and married her and she was very different to my mum and this isn't just me being bitter or anything, you know, I'm very open, nice, but she was a bit mean, like she'd do and say quite mean things, one of which was she'd take the Mickey out of him like out of him, falling over and all things like that. It was really not very nice. And she said to him because I was like Daddy's little girl, you know she said to him oh, I bet he can speak for her. I bet he could say I bet he could say something like supercalifragilistic expial. I bet he can't say supercalifragilistic expialidocious. And of course he couldn't, he couldn't speak properly. Anyway, he did, he did slowly but he said it and it was like we start two fingers up. Anyway, that was years before he died.
Speaker 2:I went to the chapel of rest and I was reading these hundreds of messages that had come from all these different army comrades of his, reading them out to my dad. And before I left like my hand on his chest and I said you know, please, dad, if you can, but not if it causes you any harm or distress or anything if you can, please, can you show me? Because we'd had this, we'd had this little joke after my mum died. I'd said to him we need a sign. You know, you've got to have a sign with people, anyone out there. If you want to have contact with someone, you need to have a sign, not this one. I said to him could you just come and like move the toilet row and I'm on the loo or something like then I'll know it's you. Then afterwards, like that's just really weird, like why would I even say that? So I don't do that.
Speaker 2:Anyway, I said this to my dad in the chapel arrest not the toilet roll, just please come and show me. We didn't have a thing, we didn't have a code word, we didn't have anything, you know. And I stepped into the car and as I stepped into the car, the radio connected with my phone and started to play Supercalifragilistic Expealidocious. Now, I didn't have Supercalifragilistic Expealidocious in my phone. Why would I have?
Speaker 1:that.
Speaker 2:While I was there, my daughter, while she was waiting, was thinking, oh, I might download I can't remember the other one she'd said now sound of music. She was going to download sound of music. And then she suddenly thought, actually I might download Mary Poppins. So she downloaded Mary Poppins, not knowing anything about Supercalifragilistic Expealidocious, didn't think anything of it. In that moment something made her download Mary Poppins and in that moment when I got in the car, it started playing. So I'm like, okay, that's quite specific.
Speaker 1:But again, coincidence perhaps- I love how you're there going, but I'm not so sure. I need more evidence.
Speaker 2:No, but I did because somebody you know, the scientist in me, yes, you know, I needed more than that, although great and very specific and odd, I needed more. So there were a few other things that happened, again very specific like that one, but again I still needed more. And the night of the funeral I went out for a meal with my dad's brothers, and so my brother would already die by then. So my brother's son and his wife and you know, there were a few of us, and we were at this Indian restaurant, and we're only us in this restaurant. Have you heard this one? Have you heard me say this? You have, I love it.
Speaker 2:And in this restaurant we were chatting and then, all of a sudden, my brother's son, my nephew, said oh, I see, they didn't play the Phil Collins track. So he'd been asked, my dad had asked him to play, to sort the music out, basically, and he'd given him the tracks that he wanted playing. And then my brother's wife said oh, but they played the Sillindian track. I bet that was basically his wife, I bet that was her that wanted that playing. And then in my mind, my dad said no, that's the song we played at your mum's funeral. And I couldn't remember my mum's funeral. I mean, it was like 10 years earlier. I moved in a poem. I was reading a poem. That was all my focus. So I then said to the group oh no, that's the music we played at my mum's funeral. I think that's music play. And then all of a sudden, on top of this Indian music and I'm going to do the dinga dinga, dinga, dinga, dinga, this Indian music where the pan pipes to Sillindian, my heart will go on and they were like it was. It was so surreal. It was like super imposed over the top of it and it was going for about 20 seconds. We all looked to each other and we all could hear it, apart from my husband and my cousin's boyfriend. We all heard it and it never. It never came on again. So it's not even like it was some bangeramish mash of something or other. It never played again.
Speaker 2:And I recently was telling somebody I was having a massage and he was telling me about an experience he'd had. We weren't even talking about this kind of stuff. And then I went oh yeah, I've had something similar and I said about the Sillindian, and then it started playing in the massage room and he was just like at that moment, at that very moment, and he said what? I've worked here for 10 years. There are about 2000 tracks on that on that playlist. I have never heard it.
Speaker 2:And honestly, that exact moment it started playing again bizarre. However, I then was like, okay, that's really good because we've all witnessed this. But you know, I don't know, I just discount things so easily. You can see now why reading from Gordon was not what I needed. So, anyway, we went back to my cousin's house. We were staying there, everyone had gone to bed and I sat with my cousin and we were chatting and I was on the sofa and she was on an armchair and I was saying to her you know, I think all these things keep happening in my life because I'm meant to reconnect on a spiritual level and every time I'm disconnect, something happens to pull me back on and again I'm seeing that like a timeline.
Speaker 2:And then, all of a sudden, I was like a whoosh and I could feel I can feel it now. I could feel this icy cold coming over me and it was literally. It just transported me back to standing next to my dad in the Chapel of Rest and it was that icy cold, that you feel in like a butcher's fridge or not that I've ever been in a butcher's fridge, but you know, when you, you know when you see these murder films on the TV and they go really. It was like that, you know. And so I get feeling and I said wow, and my, my hairs were standing on edge on my arms and I said, wow, it's like my dad's here. And then it happened again. And then I said it's almost like my dad's trying to communicate. And it happened again and I was like this is weird.
Speaker 2:So I got up and I went to sit next to her and I showed her I was sat on the floor and I kind of showed her look when I. And then she could see. And she said I can't just see, I can feel it like, I can feel the cold. And then it was like the life drained out of me. It was like and I just went really cold and I couldn't. I don't want to scare anyone, but we weren't doing anything scary, we were genuinely just chatting normally.
Speaker 2:But I've asked for this, right, remember? I've asked for this. So I couldn't speak now, remember, my dad couldn't speak, okay, and I felt like. I felt like my neck was like stretching. I just couldn't doing it. So she helped me onto the sofa and she was now sitting opposite me on the sofa and you could see, I could see like my hair moving and there was some cotton on her cushion that was moving. So there was like there was like there was a breeze between us and and I was just kind of like trying to say I can't really speak.
Speaker 2:And then she's looking at me and she's just like Amanda, I can see your dad, it's Tony, I can see you, I can see your face, but Uncle Tony's there as well. Like your eyes have changed your jaw, like your mouth, like it's you, but it's Uncle Tony, like your dad's, super imposter. So it's called Transfiguration. Luckily, I'd seen it before. I'd seen Gordon do it a few years, a few years back, but I never for one minute expected that to happen. And then I was a bit freaked out, a lot freaked out, let's be honest. Yeah, and and it went. And then I felt really bad. I was like, oh no, I feel awful, like that's. You know, like I've scared him off, like he's, it might have taken a whole host of energy or it might be really hard for him to do that, and he's come to do that for me.
Speaker 2:And she says yeah but he's not going to want to upset you, he's not going to want to, you know, alarm you in any way. So I was like, right, I composed myself. I said, right, dad, if that was you and if you can do it again, please come back. I was just, it was just a shock. Um, yeah, I didn't know what was going on, blah, blah, blah anyway. So I just sat there. So now I'm asking for it. So he came back and she saw him, so we started having this communication with him, and so she asked if he could do it on her so that I could then see him. And that was a no. You know, that wasn't going to happen.
Speaker 2:So we were having this conversation with my dad about the, the wife and about my mum and about all this stuff, because that morning, in fact the morning of the funeral, I hadn't slept all night, obviously, and I'd had this um, really strong love envelop me as I was lying there, really strong, and it felt like it felt like my dad and he said to me um, there was a whole host of stuff that happened and he said I'm really sorry, I didn't mean for things to turn out that way, don't worry about the money or anything like that, which I wasn't. Um, you've got me. I am always with you and, interestingly, yeah, I mean it was very profound, but I I was like saying to my cousin that morning before the funeral this is wishful thinking, you know. I mean, this isn't this is.
Speaker 2:I was half dream state, but I was like she went no, that was your dad. I'm like, yeah, whatever. And when I was at the funeral, one of the people in the army came up to me and he was saying to me so there was an accidental video sent to him that shouldn't have sent to him. And he was like ha ha ha, typical Tony, I didn't know this man. Um, it was about, it was me and my daughter was messing about and, um, I had been in contact with him like a couple of weeks before. So I've had lots of other messages since. Um, this, this video had gone to him out of nowhere, like and it wasn't even the last video in my feed, it was like loads of video. So this video had been sent to this guy who then came up to me in the funeral and said to me your dad is always with you. And I went yeah, thank you. You know, like people say that, don't they? And he went and he literally went no, you put his arm, your dad is always with you. He's with you right now. He said I'm a psychic medium who thought some guy from the army and your dad wants you to know that he's always with you. So, anyway, there was that, that connection. So I'm talking to, um, uh, I'm with my cousin. It gets a bit freaked, we get a bit freaked out by the end of it and we end up going to bed a bit scared.
Speaker 2:And then the next morning, the next morning, I had a conversation with him. I was like, oh, you know, I don't know whether I felt a bit angry at the end. I don't know whether that was my dad or something else, or whether I've upset him. I don't know whether it's the dad that I knew, whether it's the dad that kind of he became and, um, so I was a bit kind of upset about it all. She had a shower, came down and said to me your dad wants. I didn't know my cousin could do this as well, but she came down and said um, I think your dad's just said to me, um, that your dad's your dad. Um, there's not two of them and he always will be your dad and so he can't to let that go. And he also said you need to start writing all this down. So she was doing this and you need to start writing it down.
Speaker 2:Anyway. I then had a shower and, um, I'm in the shower thinking, oh, I can't believe she's just had that experience. Like I want my dad to talk to me, what, um? And then I then I'm like no, that's just really weird again, a bit like the toilet roll, I don't want my dad joining me in the shower, that's just freaking, you know.
Speaker 2:And then and this is the most profound thing for me, and this all of that's profound, right, I've had my dad transfigure in, I've had all of this stuff, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I've said this is weird, I don't want him joining me in the shower and then, out of nowhere, so profound, so deep, so connected, he said to me I see you as you see me right now, it's just energy. It's not like that meaning, it's not like that not being seen naked, it's just energy. And there was something about that moment that connected him with and knowing within me. That was just like. You know what that is truly my dad, truly, and I can't discount all of this stuff anymore. He's tried so bloody hard to get in contact with me, to prove to me, to show me. I kind of owe it to him. You know that cool guy lying there for all those years, paralyzed, unable to move, locked in, finally able to speak his truth to me, yeah, and so that's when I was just like, if he can do that, I can come out as a psychic psychologist and write this incredible, life-changing book that is just gonna, it's just gonna set the world alight.
Speaker 1:It's just beautiful. Honestly, amanda, I mean this is you know I, just I can remember what's the last bit I read. You talk about, um, you go on the retreat to the Maldives. I needed to change environments, to bring in the space where I could connect with all my levels of self once more on those beautiful islands. I raised my vibration, I processed my pain and said goodbye to living as my present past self. I stepped onto a new timeline, the one with a future me writing this book. And voila, here I am, I've been outside. Fuck yeah, come on, I'm doing it bring on the.
Speaker 1:Maldives, I know, but I'm like, oh my gosh, it's such a gift and listening to you tell those stories about your dad, it's. You just have this, this support, this spiritual support you are. You were meant to write this book and you are going to change so many lives, so many lives. It's amazing. And if you think, like our kids are gonna read this I'm giving this to my son, he's gonna love all the science, our kids that the ripple effect is huge. So I just have to kind of shine a light on that and go, oh, you're doing it, you're shining, there's you. It's amazing, amazing. This has been an incredible chat. Like, oh my gosh, thank you so much for your time. I know you're very busy. I want you to mess and then I want you to write another book because I'm slightly hot.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what the next book yeah, as it stands is going to start with. I see you as you see me right now. Oh, that's how that feels that needs to start, because it's so poignant. Oh, because that book's going to be more so. This one, I wanted to be like 70 psychology, 30 percent kind of psychic-y stuff, and I want the other one to be the other way around.
Speaker 2:So, um, that's why I've saved. I've so none of the stories I've just told you we're in this book. Oh, thank you little bits. So I've saved, I've saved, I've tried to, I've put some in there, I've tried to save a lot of it for the next book amazing.
Speaker 1:Oh, amanda, thank you so much for your time today. I'll put in the show notes, like where people can find you, and I can not recommend this book more highly. I really can't. It's the kind of thing you're reading and no do you think of yourself, but you think of your friends and you think of people in your lives that you're like. I just want them to know this. I've got lots of you know stars in mine and initials next to certain paragraphs, because I'm like I must tell this person about this honestly thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for your time today and, oh, what a gorgeous conversation. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of everyday burnout conversations. Take a peek at the show notes for any links to items discussed today. And if you want to continue the burnout conversation, you can find me on social media at flicktaylorite, or you can head to my website, flicktaylorcom, if you're curious and want to learn more on what it's like to work with me one to one. So in the meantime, rest up, don't forget to take good care of you. And bye for now.